JuOn
by shi-chan
Summary: YAOI KakaIru When a grudge so big and so intense is born, you will never find peace until your sworn curse has been fullfilled. How far are you willing to go to get a good night's sleep? COMPLETE
1. Part 1

Another KakaIru fic? Man, do they EVER stop? Oh well, I can't help it. I said to myself that it isn't fair that as a lover of Kakashi and Iruka, I've only written ONE story of them. So here's another one! I hope it turns out okay. I can say now that the beginning chapters are going to be a bit slow, so bear with me.

In any case, Ju-On means "Grudge" in Japanese. Yep, this fic was inspired by the Japanese horror flick called Ju-On. But I wouldn't say it comes close to what the movie was about. I just liked the idea of a grudge coming back to haunt someone. So I'm using that idea and then everything from there is from my twisted mind. Also, the doujinshi scanlations done by carcinya/isolde and chibi-risu-chan called WATER, has also played a major insprition factor to me. I think that was the last PUSH that made me write this fic.

Oh well, enjoy!

Oh and a thank you to b4k4girl who beta-read this for me! She has also completed my Iruka-in-leather-get-up from my fic FAINT. Go check it out in her deviantart account and praise her!

**JU-ON 1**

_The gray skies wept that afternoon, sending cold splatters of tears onto the sodden earth. The battle had ended three days ago and people were already leaving the field after burying all the dead warriors. He could still smell the tangy metallic stench of blood in the air. A lot of lives were taken away. A lot of anger and sorrow lingered in the air. And still the rain fell, as if the spirits were weeping for the lives they lost in a blink of an eye._

_It was not a fair battle. Humans against a demon-king? No, it was not fair at all._

_His shoulders trembled as his body was wracked with sobs. He knew the demon was sealed away. He knew that the child was somewhere in the village. He knew that the child was breathing while his parents were dead! He was alone and the child was breathing?_

_"Damn him! Damn him!" He gritted out, clenching his fists as anger and hatred flared inside his heart. "I hate that bastard!" His nails dug into his palms, tears of anger cascading down his cheeks. He'd like to think he wasn't crying. His father never liked it when he cried. No, he thought, it was the rain. It was just the rain. "I'll kill him! I hate him! I'll kill him!" He swore on his parent's grave that he would. "He'll die! I hate him! I'll kill him! I swear it!"_

_And then the rain stopped._

XXX

He opened his eyes to find the first few dull rays of sunshine pouring through his curtained window. Cool air brushed against his bare legs and torso, tickling his skin and glazing it with goosebumps. It was the monsoon season in Konoha, and it had been raining the other night. Throwing a hand over his eyes, he pulled the curtain drapes apart a bit and peered up at the sky. It was slightly drizzling, and soon it would stop. The skies were still a dull gray and barely any sunrays poured through.

"That dream again." He whispered, turning to the empty space beside him, the covers twisting around his bare waist.

The pillows were crumpled and in a mess, the sheets stained with white splatters that were the result of their activities the previous night. How many times had it been? Three? Four? They were both tired from work, and _he_ had just returned from a mission. When he arrived through his window as he was towel drying his hair from a shower, it was all fast, needy, hot and lustful. It had always been like that, for as long as he could remember.

It's a common story after all, to warm a cold body in such a way.

Closing his eyes once more, he pulled himself together and sat up, peeling the sheets away. He still had his responsibilities. He still had some of his honor left and he kept reminding himself that. Stretching his limbs, he padded his way to the bathroom, turning the tap on and grabbing his toothbrush. He looked at his reflection and found a man in his mid twenties staring back at him. Well, it should have been mid-twenties, for he swore he looked much, much older. He had bags under his eyes, and his skin was slightly pale, glazed and decorated with several red marks and bruises. There were old marks from before that hadn't healed yet completely, making his body look bruised and beaten. Throw in the new red bruises and it looked even worse. It was like plucking red rose petals and tossing them onto a pool of water that had lavender petals floating on it already.

It's a common image after all, to gain such results after warming a cold body in such a way.

He ran his hand over his neck, wincing at the slightly raw skin before hissing at the reflection and turning the tap on to brush his teeth. He took a shower then dressed, grabbed a packet of biscuits from the kitchen shelf and made his way to the ninja academy, chomping on his breakfast. He tossed the empty biscuit wrapper in to the nearest trash bin before climbing up a drainpipe and using the roof to get to the academy. He was moving at a slow pace since his backside was currently hurting and raw from last night's escapade. _He_ had been slightly rougher than normal. But he didn't complain. He _never_ complained. He couldn't bring himself to complain due to the comfort he felt in being in someone's arms, the feel of his lips on his, and his hands on his body - he needed it. He needed to feel someone close to him.

_Whore._

He slipped off the roof he was supposed to land on and fell on the ground on his back with a loud thud. He winced, cringing at the sight of the dark alleyway he found himself currently in and pulled himself together.

"Maybe the roof wasn't a very bright idea." He mumbled, and limped his way to the academy.

_Slut._

Iruka paused at the thought and frowned. He was now in front of the academy, staring at the building, a sad look glazing his eyes that were normally filled with happiness.

_Prostitute._

He bit his lower lip. "No. I'm not." He said with confidence, but that was what he'd been reminding himself. What honor was there in being treated like some sort of whore? Was he some form of entertainment? He had asked himself those questions several times since the beginning, and as ugly and black as the truth was, his thoughts were right. "But I -" He whispered, and cast his eyes down. "I love him."

And he began walking towards the academy, the rain falling from the sky.

XXX

"I'm done, Iruka-sensei." Toki held up his scroll for Iruka to examine.

Iruka took the scroll without saying a word, picked up his red pen and began to correct the answers to the exercise he gave the class. He wrote the grade at the top and handed the scroll back to Toki. "Very good. You may leave, Toki."

He was not in a good mood. The class had been noisy and as punishment, he gave them a ten-page exercise sheet to finish or else they couldn't go home. The rain was coming down very hard outside. The children were supposed to have genjutsu practice, but because of their misbehavior, they were stuck with paperwork.

Finally, a good hour later, the last child departed and Iruka was left in the classroom all alone. He picked up the chalkboard eraser and began to erase the board. He heard the classroom door shut and turned around to find that the classroom was empty, nor was there any shadows indicating that the person who closed the door was walking away. Frowning, he shrugged and continued to erase the board. The door slammed again and Iruka whirled sharply to find the classroom empty. He felt something heavy settle upon his chest and turned and collided with a chest, a loud shout escaping his mouth.

"Oh geez!" He hissed and placed a hand on his chest. "You startled me, Kakashi!"

Kakashi merely stared at him with a bored look in his eye. Iruka frowned as he felt a chill run down his spine. Kakashi was in front of him, waiting for him to pack up and set for home, and yet, he could feel eyes boring into his back. Frowning, he looked behind him and found nothing but an empty space and wall with some of the children's work tacked onto the rubber board. His frown deepened as he continued to study the room.

"Iruka? Something the matter?" Kakashi asked, puzzled as to what the chuunin was looking for.

"No." Iruka said, shaking his head and gathering his things. As he left the classroom with Kakashi, he could have sworn he felt someone. "Kakashi, could you wait for a second?" He turned back and threw his classroom door open and found it dark and empty. Sighing, he shook his head. "I must be really stressed out."

He left the academy with Kakashi and headed back for his apartment.

XXX

Hot lips met his immediately as soon as he locked his door and set his things down. He grabbed the silky silver hair in his hands and kissed the Jounin back hungrily. A tongue licked his chin and trailed down his neck where a pair of lips began to nip on his neck. He arched his neck back, fingers trailing down the jounin's back and fingers hooking on the waistband of his trousers. The Jounin pulled him towards the sofa and pulled off his shirt, his fingers undoing Iruka's pants as he sank himself onto the sofa and pulled Iruka on his lap.

Minutes later, after an intense orgasm, Iruka was lying on the couch, Kakashi sprawled beside him, both naked, the cool air hitting their bodies. Iruka turned his gaze to Kakashi and thought of what just happened. The sex was good, no doubt about that. But, was there anything else beyond the sex?

_Whore._

Iruka shut his eyes and stood up, picking up his clothes and padded for the bathroom. Kakashi merely watched him as he disappeared behind the bathroom door. He never locked the door, because Kakashi would always follow him. And when he did, Iruka asked, as he was lathering his hair with shampoo.

"Kakashi?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you happy?" He asked, squeezing more shampoo out of the container and lathering more in his hair. Kakashi was leaning against the bathroom sink, waiting for his turn.

"The sex is good." Kakashi answered.

Iruka stopped in mid-lather and stared at the silver tap in front of him. "Just the sex?"

A visible frown crossed Kakashi's features. He was a handsome man underneath the mask, and Iruka had fallen for him hard when he first set sights upon the mask-less face. He had an angular face, with a sharp nose and finely defined chin and cheekbones. The scar down his red eye only accentuated his mismatched eyes, and gave his face a rare look of beauty that was found scarcely in men.

"What are you implying?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka continued lathering his hair and then rinsed it, along with the soap on his body. Once clean, he pulled the shower curtain back and stared at Kakashi with hurt in his eyes. "I mean, are we -"

"What is it _you_ want?" Kakashi asked.

_Slut._

"I want there to be an us." Iruka said, wrapping the towel around his waist and stepping out of the bathtub, while Kakashi stepped in.

"You don't like what we have now?"  Kakashi asked, turning on the tap. "Love is what you want, right?"

Iruka felt his words like a slap on his face.

"I don't mean anything to you. I'm just your whore." Iruka whispered and walked out the bathroom, with Kakashi staring at his back until he entered his bedroom.

_Prostitute._

Iruka sat on his bed and brought his hands to his face. He felt used. Forced. A recipient of empty pleasure. Like he was taken over. He felt like crying, but he didn't have any tears to shed. He rubbed the back of his head with his hands and swallowed his pride, or rather, what was left of it. Kakashi emerged from the shower, and then he was on top of him, kissing him and touching him.

And he couldn't say anything.

_Whore._

TBC


	2. Part 2

Wee! I got this done! Sorry for this being late. But I was too scared to type any chapters. Now where on earth have you seen an 'author' who's scares herself from writing fics? That would be me!

A big thank you to b4k4-girl who not only beta-read this chapter but actually gave me a lil' boost to NOT be afraid…somehow. Ah, the power of chatting on MSN. Woohoo!

Sorry for the lateness! Gomen, gomen, gomen!!!!

Enjoy!

**JU-ON 2**

Iruka sat up from his bed, slightly drenched in sweat as he gasped for breath. His hair fell on his face, his back hunched as he stared at his shaking hands. The loud rush of rain falling on the roof of his apartment complex drummed in his ears, just like his heart. He glanced at the body beside him, lying on its side and facing the wall, the mass of silver hair scattered on the light blue pillow. He inhaled a shaky breath and dragged his naked form off the bed.

"That dream again." He whispered to himself, picking up his clothes and folding them before placing them in his laundry basket. He then gathered Kakashi's clothes and folded them on the high back chair in the corner of his room where he sat to read books when he couldn't sleep at night. Kakashi was still deep asleep under the white and blue sheets of the bed, legs concealed under the twisted mass of cotton. His torso gleamed white, his arms around the pillow his head was resting on, light puffs of breath escaping his nose and slightly parted lips.

_Whore._

Iruka felt the deep twist within him as he watched Kakashi sleep like a baby, not a care in the world. He tore his gaze away and picked up a robe from the hamper behind the door and slipped it on as he headed for the kitchen. He was thankful that it was the weekend and he didn't have much work to do. He could take it easy for a while; maybe get some rest and proper sleep. He yawned widely as he set the kettle to boil. He debated whether to have creamed tea or coffee, but then decided on having hot chocolate instead. While he was mixing his cup, he suddenly remembered his dream

It had been nearly a month or maybe more ago when he started having the same recurring dream. It seemed persistent, but he had paid it little to no attention. He was young then, angry at the loss of his parents and he didn't understand how world ran and how there were laws of give and take. Like equal trade. You lose something but you also gain something in return.

"What did I gain?" Iruka asked himself, as he buttered some toast and stared at the golden brown surface of the bread.

_Slut._

He gained his title as a chuunin and as a trusted shinobi to both the third and the fifth. He gained respect from nearly everybody as a shinobi and as a person. He gained the trust of people, their comfort around him and vice versa, and the undying affection of all his students, graduates or undergraduates. Iruka lifted the toast to his lips but stopped. He also gained the undying lust of a man who could never love him, the opportunity and fortune of being in the arms of the great copy-nin, only to feel used and empty.

_Prostitute._

A sad look glazed his eyes and he set the toast down on the white porcelain plate before him. It had a little yellow print of a sun and blue waves that apparently signified water. He looked at the lame design carefully. It was nothing flashy or eye catching, but it reminded him that the sunrays don't always hit the bottom of the ocean. While some places will gain light, others will remain in the dark. He couldn't help but think of how ironic it was. He may have gained the respect that could rival that of a Hokage, but he could not gain something that he deeply desired. There was a thick line between what he wanted and what he could have. And it hurt him to think about it, but every time he remembered Kakashi's face when he slept like he had no troubles, or the contraction of his facial muscles when he groaned in pleasure or how his lips parted as he sucked in deep breaths during orgasm, he couldn't find it in him to deny him his feeling of pleasure. The life of a shinobi was hard. You're lucky if you live to thirty and to have someone waiting for you gives you a feeling of security and contentment. Then again, you're a very lucky shinobi if you possess both.

Iruka picked up his toast and sank his teeth into it, chewing on the semi-crunchy breakfast silently, his mind's wheels spinning with thoughts. In the end, he was left with a deep hurting feeling that was filled with anger and, surprisingly, love.

Light footsteps sounded in the hall as thunder rolled in the sky. Iruka shut his eyelids as the bright flash illuminated his house. He set half of his toast on the plate and lifted the mug to his lips, taking a light sip of the warm, sweet liquid. Arms snaked around his chest, fingers playing with his nipples as a wet tongue smelling of toothpaste ran down his neck, the smell of soap invading his nostrils.

"Good morning Kakashi." He said, and set his cup down. "Would you like some coffee?"

"No, thanks. Got something to eat?" Kakashi asked, taking a seat opposite him.

"Toast and cereal. Pick one." Iruka said, not really bothering to look up at the copy-nin. This was a classic greeting coming from Kakashi. It was not a strange setting at all. It had been a month or two since they became warmers for each other's bed, but most of the time Kakashi was with him in his apartment.

"Cereal."

Iruka stood up and took out a bowl and spoon from the cupboard, setting them in front of Kakashi, along with the carton of milk and box of bran cereal. Kakashi poured himself some cereal and milk, while Iruka sat on his chair and continued to sip his hot chocolate. Kakashi ate silently, spooning cereal into his mouth and chewing it evenly. He was dressed in nothing but boxers after his morning shower, his body imperfect with wounds from battle, but still somewhat beautiful with his pale complexion. Iruka stared at the contents of his cup, twirling it around as he watched the darker sediment of his hot chocolate mix with the denser liquids floating above it.

His mind drifted off to his dream once more and he couldn't help but wonder again about why it started to come back. It was an empty promise, a child's impulsive anger, his pathetic and selfish thoughts, and his mere naiveté. Surely he didn't feel the same now. He loved Naruto like any older brother or maybe even father would. He saw him as his charge, a mirror image of himself when he was on his 'jolly' way to being a genin and chuunin. Naruto may be loud and annoying, but Iruka knew from the bottom of his heart that Naruto was caring, protective, honest and loyal and even intelligent under all his smile-like-I-don't-care and goof-up attitude. He was a real gem among gems and Iruka wanted to pamper him as much as he could. He didn't know why his dream started coming, but shrugging it off as something silly and not important, he pushed it to the back of his mind.

A sudden flash of thunder illuminated the sky, the loud booming noise coming a second or two later. Iruka suddenly felt goosebumps glaze his skin as he continued to stare at his cup while he swirled it.

"Kakashi? How is Naruto?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the contents of his cup.

"He's fine." Kakashi answered, stirring his cereal lazily. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering." Iruka said, still swirling his cup. "I haven't seen him in quite a while."

"You know how it is. He has Sasuke in his team. They don't really get along much. Rivalry and the likes."

"Of course." Iruka answered and set his cup down, pushing his chair back. As he stood up, a frown crossed his face. He could feel a piercing gaze on his back, like someone was looking at him and undressing him with his/her eyes. His frown deepened as he carried his cup to the sink and tossed the contents of his plate into the trash bin. As he rinsed his cup and plate clean, the feeling of eyes pricking his back intensified. He turned around slightly and found Kakashi busy eating his cereal. Shaking his head slightly, he rinsed his hand from dishwashing soapsuds and headed for the bathroom to take a shower.

XXX

Iruka dipped his head a bit under the shower spray to rinse the shampoo off his hair. He massaged his scalp, keeping his eyes closed as the mint-scented suds trickled down his frame. With both his hands he pushed back his hair and turned the tap off, grabbing the towel from the rack and beginning to wipe his face. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and blinked. His body looked awfully pale and the bruises were really not fading at all. He would have thought the huge bruise on his hip from when Kakashi bit him while he was giving him a hand-job would have faded already since it had been already a week or so. But it was still there, looking raw and new.

Worried, he opened the shelf of his bathroom mirror and took out some cream to apply on the bruise. He never really paid his body that much attention, but upon seeing his reflection, he began to feel a bit afraid that his body wasn't healing as it normally would.

He entered his bedroom and dropped the towel on the bed, bending to the bottom drawer of his closet to take out some underwear.

"You know, you shouldn't really go around bending over like that." Kakashi said from the doorway.

"Oh?" Iruka gave a slight gasp when hands came into contact with his buttocks, sliding around his waist to his manhood, fingers grasping it tightly and pulling. "I have to get groceries, Kakashi. You can wait for an hour or two."

"Fine." Kakashi said, withdrawing his hand. "But can you?"

Iruka rolled his eyes and turned around to face him, still naked with his hair plastered to his neck and back. His manhood was halfway erect and seeing Kakashi shirtless with his boxers looking tighter than usual, Iruka really couldn't say anything.

"I'm throwing that question back at you." Iruka said. "You only care about yourself, don't you?" Iruka pushed Kakashi on the bed, jerking his boxers off. He knelt by the bed and half climbed over Kakashi's thighs before giving the now erect organ a long lick. "You twisted bastard."

"Yeah, but you like being down there, don't you?" Kakashi gave a loud yelp when Iruka bit him, and soon he was groaning and his hands were fisted around the sheets.

Iruka continued his task of relieving Kakashi of his problem; his own long ago shriveled away, when several thoughts crossed his mind.

_Whore._

_Slut._

_Prostitute._

Iruka continued sucking and licking, his attention getting a bit dimmer as his ears were filled with Kakashi's groans, long pale fingers tangling in his long dark hair and grasping it tight. Iruka flicked a glance sideways, and caught sight of his reflection half leaning against the bed while on his knees. His eyes widened, because he didn't see a naked form of himself, but someone clad in black pants and black wrappings around the chest and arms. But that was not what made him stare at the reflection harder. It was the red eyes that were full of malice that stared back, and the sly grin that was now spreading on his reflection's lips.

Iruka gagged when he felt hot, sticky liquid fill his mouth, falling on his side and coughing violently. Kakashi sat up after a few seconds, staring at him with wide eyes as Iruka coughed and hacked. Iruka brought a hand to his mouth to stop himself from coughing, but he couldn't. When the coughing sensation finally faded, he stared at his hands, and found them stained with Kakashi's seed and his own blood dripping from his mouth.

TBC

Eek! Ah! Oh no!


	3. Part 3

Okay, this chapter is, uh, actually I don't know what to say about this chapter. Except that – man, I can't believe I wrote this! Squee! A big thanks to b4k4-girl for beta-reading this for me. Not only that, but also to her encouraging words that basically makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine! Wee! Cake for everyone!

Enjoy!

****

**JU-ON 3**

Iruka stared at his hands, unable to process a coherent thought. His mind was wheeling with a thousand possibilities of everything and anything. Kakashi was staring at him from the bed, and hissed out a curse.

"What happened?" Kakashi demanded.

Iruka trembled and stood up shakily. "I bit the side of my mouth by accident."

Kakashi scrutinized him some more. "You don't look very good."

"Hell, you think I don't know that?" Iruka snapped, grabbing his towel and wiping his hand and mouth. "Yeah, well, like it even matters. You got your orgasm now so just shut up."

"Snappy aren't we?" Kakashi retorted.

"All you care about is the sex." Iruka hissed, grabbing clothes from his closet and pulling them on. "Don't even say anything otherwise, because you'd just be lying."

"I won't."

"You never do anyway." Iruka mumbled, hurt filling his chest so strongly he could feel the familiar prickling behind his eyelids. "I'm going out."

"Yeah, whatever." Kakashi said, and began to get dressed.

Iruka left the apartment, slamming the door shut, a tear escaping one of his eyes. He wiped it away angrily and checked his wallet if he had enough money for groceries. Shoving his wallet into his pocket, he made his way out of his apartment complex, forgetting that it was raining, and soon he was soaked to the bone.

He never really went to the grocery store. He went to the cenotaph instead, and knelt in front of the blue marble. He shut his eyes tightly and bit his lower lip, the rain coming down harder and colder. He could feel his throat getting tighter and tighter and when he couldn't hold it in anymore, he wrapped his arms around his body and wept.

But he still thought it was the rain on his face and not his tears.

He never cried.

He liked to think so.

His father never really liked it when he cried.

_Whore._

XXX

He long ago gave up on his ponytail and lost his hair tie. He was staring at the raining sky from under an oak tree, still dripping wet. The cenotaph was a few yards in front of him, and he was feeling cold. He was feeling numb and old, like he aged so much in a span of an hour? Maybe two?

He dropped his head on his folded arm resting on his drawn up knee.

_Slut._

A sudden presence in front of him. He looked up and found Naruto holding a towel out to him, dressed in his usual orange jump suit, a dark blue umbrella in hand.

"Here. You should dry yourself up sensei." He said, blue eyes smiling.

Iruka stared at him for a while, surprised, awed, shocked, all meshing up together to form the same feeling of fondness he felt whenever he saw the boy. He stared at the dark green towel being held out to him for a while, before shakily taking it and wiping his face.

"Thank you." He whispered and wiped his face some more.

_"Kill him!" _

Iruka jumped slightly at the cool voice that reached his ear. He looked up at Naruto and found him staring back with a puzzled expression. "Did you say something, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked and shook his head. "No. I didn't say anything."

Iruka shook his head a bit and dried his hair. "What are you doing out here anyway? Shouldn't you be at home resting? It's been a tiring week, or so I heard from your instructor."

"Well, I went to get some lunch and I was on my way home. Then I saw you kneeling over there and you were getting really wet." Naruto looked up at Iruka sadly. "So I brought you a towel." Naruto continued to look at him directly, his blue gaze piercing his. "Sensei, are you lonely?

Iruka stared at Naruto for a while, not sure of what he could say. He then smiled. "I'm just a bit tired and stressed out from work."

Naruto looked away. "You don't have to lie to me you know." Naruto's eyes glazed with sadness, something that he dared not show anyone other than Iruka. "I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm thirteen."

"I know you're not." Iruka said, staring at the sky. "I'm not lonely."

"You look like it." Naruto said quietly. "Sensei, I know it's none of my business or anything. But lately you look so tired and so sad, that - that - I - well, I'm sorry." Naruto turned to look at the cenotaph. "Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard on you if your family was here, right?" The towel Iruka was holding came in to contact with Naruto's face quite hard.

"Don't ever think that!" Iruka snapped. "You were nothing but a baby boy! How could you have known on what was going on?" Iruka knelt before Naruto and held him by the shoulders. "I could care less if you have Kyuubi in you! I don't give a damn! Don't ever think like that again, you hear? I love you as Naruto! I don't care what you carry, you're still Naruto! Am I making myself clear?"

Naruto stared at Iruka with sad eyes and lifted up a corner of the towel to wipe away the tears trickling down Iruka's face. "You know something sensei? After all that has happened, with the third dying and Sasuke going away and Orochimaru's war thing, I've learned a lot of things." Iruka continued shedding tears as he stared at innocent yet mature blue eyes. "I learned that being ninja doesn't mean being strong. It means having someone to protect and come home to. It's okay to cry when you're happy." Iruka did not understand what Naruto was trying to say, but his words were striking ever chord inside him, reminding him of what was waiting for him at home every cold night. "But you're not happy, Iruka-sensei. And I know you're strong. So don't cry anymore okay?"

Iruka licked his lips and dipped his head. "Sometimes it's not that easy anymore." He said in defeat.

"Then find something to keep you happy. That's what I always do. Like, like, for example, when I'm sad, I just remember the times when we play together or go for ramen. Then I don't feel like crying anymore. As long as I have those memories, I don't fear losing my life in being a shinobi." Naruto beamed. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breaths away."

Iruka blinked and stared at Naruto. "Where did you get that from?"

Naruto grinned. "From television." Iruka could only smile sadly, but Naruto gave him a hug, forgetting his umbrella. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm here for you too, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka embraced Naruto tightly. "I know. I know you're here. And that's what all that matters." Smiling and forgetting his worries, Iruka pulled back and ruffled Naruto's now damp hair. "What do you say I make you some dinner eh? But you'll have to help me go grocery shopping."

"Okay!" Naruto said, jumping up to his feet. "But first, we have to get you dried or else you'll end up getting a cold."

"Hey, that's my line! I'm the grown-up here!"

"Well, I'm a grown-up too!"

Iruka laughed. "Yeah, right."

Naruto jumped on his back and both of them laughed as Iruka ran down the path to town, the water splashing as the rain poured down even harder.

XXX

Iruka returned home late that Saturday night, after making Naruto a lovely dinner of grilled salmon and chocolate cake for dessert. His house was quiet and empty when he entered. He reached for the switch and turned it on, to find Kakashi crouching by the windowpane, staring directly at him.

Iruka jumped a bit in surprise and slammed the door shut in annoyance. "I thought you went home."

_Prostitute._

"I wanted my whore." Kakashi said.

"Your whore is tired. Find someone else." Iruka said and tossed his keys on the coffee table and headed for the bedroom, pulling his shirt off as he did so.

"That's too bad. I was going to make you ride me from the top." Kakashi said, leaning against the doorframe. "Are you mad at me or something?"

"I'm tired." Iruka said, pulling his pants off and tossing them into the laundry basket.

Kakashi grabbed him from behind and held his hands behind his back, whirling him so that Iruka faced the mirror. "You look fine to me."

"You just got back from a mission. Shouldn't you be resting?" Iruka said in resignation, knowing that there was no escaping this one.

"Oh, I didn't know you cared." Kakashi whispered into his ear. "You love me, don't you?"

"Whores don't love." Iruka replied quietly, dipping his head.

"Don't they?" Kakashi whispered, sliding his hands up Iruka's shoulder and reaching for his nipple, playing with it in between his fingers. His tongue came to Iruka's temple, licking him down towards his neck, where he began to suck affectionately. "You sure?" Iruka bit his lower lip to stop the cry of pleasure from escaping his throat. Kakashi's other hand slithered down to his manhood, sneaking past his boxer's waistband and rubbing tantalizing circles on his now erect organ. "That's too bad."

Iruka looked up to stare at his reflection and came face to face with faces staring at him from behind Kakashi. So many faces. So many angry pale faces, with dark eyes staring deep into his. A cry escaped his throat and he pushed Kakashi back roughly making the Jounin fall on the bed rather roughly. Iruka fell on his knees and hid his face behind his hands.

He looked behind him to find Kakashi sprawled on the bed, a very confused and pissed-off look plastered on his handsome face.

But there were no pale angry faces.

There were no angry eyes.

Iruka could hear his heart drumming in his ears, and banging on his rib cage. He stared around the room wildly, and steadied himself. Before Kakashi could even say anything about why he was screaming like a woman giving birth, he got rid of his last article of clothing, stripped Kakashi of his clothes and positioned himself over Kakashi's erection.

Still, he couldn't say anything.

But this time it felt different.

Because this time, he was starting to feel afraid.

_Whore._

TBC

Eek. The bed linen will need changing. Poor Iruka. He has to do laundry EVERYDAY. Lol

Toodles!


	4. Part 4

Here's the next chappie. Answers to reviews are below, so go read if you have doubts.

A big thank you to b4k4-girl for helping me out and beta-reading this. She so totally rocks!

Enjoy!

**JU-ON 4**

Iruka remained lying on his back as Kakashi shifted above him and slowly settled on his side beside him. Kakashi was breathing hard, his hot and moist breath hitting Iruka's sweaty neck like a cool breeze. The thing Iruka liked the most after sex was that no matter how hot and sweaty you are, there was always that cool, calming atmosphere around you that seemed to be a side effect of a strong orgasm. And it was ALWAYS a strong orgasm, NEVER a weak one. Even the little hand jobs and blowjobs they exchanged ensured one hell of an orgasm. And it was also probably the reason why Kakashi refused to let him go.

It's all about the sex.

_Whore._

"Look at me." Kakashi whispered. Iruka closed his eyes, shutting the view of his cracked ceiling. He didn't acknowledge Kakashi's request immediately and this was something Kakashi did _not_ like. "I said look at me."

Slowly, Iruka shifted so he was lying on his side facing Kakashi. The sheets felt sticky around their thighs and stomach, but neither cared. It somehow added to the luscious warmth that surrounded them. It was ironic, or so Iruka thought. It was warm, yet cold and empty. It was _not_ how two people who stuck together for quite sometime should feel. Or maybe he was just asking for too much.

_Slut._

"What?" He said tiredly, his half lidded eyes staring in to mismatched ones. They were strange and freakish in a beautiful way. Iruka could get lost in the glows of Kakashi's dark colored eye and feel like he was looking at the universe via a telescope, or he could drown in his red eye, feeling like he was surrounded by millions of red petals or just bathing in exotic thick red wine.

But he still felt empty.

_Prostitute._

"You've got cum on your face." Kakashi said. He lifted his thumb and ever so gently brushed it off his face. It was so gentle that it was almost sweet, but Iruka knew better. He brought the finger to Iruka's lips, gently parting the soft folds of flesh, while Iruka closed his eyes and resigned himself to what Kakashi _wanted _to _see._ He slid his tongue over the thumb and gave it a little suck; the cool, salty taste of semen tickling his taste buds. "Always willing. Always ready."

It took all of Iruka's willpower to hold back the tears behind his closed eyelids. "That's what you want, isn't it? For me to be completely ready and accessible _anytime_?"

"You know me too well." Kakashi said and gently rubbed Iruka's bottom lip with his finger. "But what do you want? I don't remember you feeling any sort of pleasure tonight? Are you feeling empty?"

"I'm tired. One orgasm is good enough for me." Iruka mumbled, attempting to turn the opposite side so that he could sleep, but Kakashi propped himself up on one shoulder, pressing his lips on Iruka's. "What now?" Iruka asked after Kakashi pulled away.

"I don't like having my partners not feel sated." Kakashi whispered, leaving open-mouthed kisses from Iruka's cheek to his chest. "I feel bad."

"Don't bother." Iruka grumbled. "Just go to sleep Kakashi."

"Cold, aren't we?" Kakashi ground out, eyes narrowing. Before Iruka could even say anything, a loud cry escaped his lips and he bucked. Kakashi had seized his limp manhood and given it a squeeze. A very hard and painful squeeze. "Well?"

"Let go." Iruka whispered and he scolded himself because he was begging. Kakashi's fingers loosened and they began to give his limp length strong yet gentle full strokes. Iruka gave out a whimper, feeling excitement course through his veins. Little moans and gasps for more escaped his lips, his eyebrows narrowing slightly as he bit his lower lip to stop the silly little words from escaping.

Kakashi leaned forward, hand still stroking Iruka and picking up some speed, and sank his teeth gently onto his lower lip. "Don't hold back. Let me hear you."

"Ah! Kakashi..." Iruka gasped out and fell on his back, head thrown back as Kakashi crawled under the sticky mass of blue and white sheets and wrapped his mouth around the now firm erection. Iruka gave out a long shuddering gasp, eyes widening as Kakashi began to suck hard.

Yet it still felt empty.

Empty pleasure.

_Whore._

Iruka saw stars and heard Kakashi give a slight cough before a warm tongue began to lap at his inner thighs, slowly climbing to his stomach. Kakashi was once again on top of him, a dribble of white glossy liquid on his chin. Iruka leaned up and licked it off him before their lips met into another kiss. Kakashi slowly settled on his side of the bed, throwing an arm over his head. Iruka turned to his side, back to Kakashi and closed his eyes, breath slowly evening out. He felt Kakashi's fingers give his butt a light squeeze before lips kissed his shoulders and then there was silence, and light breathing coming from Kakashi's parted lips. Iruka merely shut his eyes, once again biting back the urge to cry, and fell asleep.

_Slut._

_Prostitute._

XXX

_Iruka opened his eyes and found himself lying on a cold black marble floor. He could see his reflection in the marble and he didn't look very good. He was pale and tired, his eyes slightly sunken in and his lips red and raw from the night's passion._

_Empty passion._

_Frowning, he slowly sat up, his naked form shivering from the cold radiating from the marble floors. When he lifted his head up, he came face to face with a high chair, several even steps leading to the velvet-cushioned seat. It was black like his surroundings, and he could hear a faint dripping noise in the distance._

_Rain? Maybe. It began to rain just before he fell asleep._

_He narrowed his eyes and looked up at the chair, and found a dark silhouette of a slim man leaning against it, legs crossed in front of him, arms resting on the armrests. Curious, he began to crawl up the steps, because he didn't trust himself to be able to walk on his own legs for a while. They were shaking and felt like jelly. When he was able to get a glance of the figure's face, instincts told him to move back and he ended up falling down the several marble steps, landing in an unceremonious heap on the black marble floor. _

_It couldn't be, he thought frantically. He's not real! He's just a figment of my imagination!_

_"Figment of your imagination, am I?" The voice drawled, a cold, spine tingling laugh echoing loudly around Iruka's naked form. He clamped his hands to his ears, trying to block the cold laugh._

_You're not real. You're not real. You're not real!_

_"I'm real enough aren't I? Can't you see me? Can't you feel me?" The figure asked, and Iruka felt cold fingers touch his shoulders. A cry escaped his lips. "Afraid. Always afraid, and so angry." _

_"Don't touch me!" Iruka screamed. "You're a dream! You're nothing but a dream!"_

_"A dream?" The voice drawled as vinyl-clad legs crouched in front of him. Iruka caught sight of the firm and bare stomach muscles rippling as he bent. He could also see a pair of red manic eyes that were full or anger and malice. "Yes, I'm your dream." Iruka suddenly felt himself being pulled back as a snap echoed in the dark room. Thick, hot, burning strips of black leather surrounded his waist and torso, snaking around his arms and neck and squeezing. A cry escaped his lips from the hot pain he felt. "I'm your dream all right. And your anger. Your hate. Remember what you said?"_

_"I don't know what you're talking about." Iruka choked out and gave another cry when the bonds around him tightened. He felt as if flames were whipping him. _

_"Oh you know what I'm talking about." Cold fingers glazed his chest and another firm squeeze blinded him with pain. He choked as he felt something dribble out of his lips. He wished he would go away and leave him alone. He wished he could just have a peaceful sleep. "Want me gone? Then kill him! Kill him like you vowed!" _

_"Go away!" Iruka begged, more warm scarlet liquid oozing out of his lips. "You're just a dream." He said weakly._

_"Yes, I'm just a dream." The bonds tightened and Iruka coughed. "I'm also your nightmare." Iruka cried out again before choking once more, spitting out blood, tears running down his cheeks. Cold lips touched his ear, forming a crude and cruel manic smile. "I'm also you." _

_"No." Iruka whispered._

_"Yes." The figure behind him tugged at the bonds' end around his hand. "I'm also your soon-to-be reality." _

_"No!" Iruka screamed, and then he could only feel pain._

XXX

"Wake up! Wake up Iruka, wake up!"

Iruka bolted up from the bed screaming, eyes wide. A hand came up to his neck where he felt the choking sensation and found nothing but sticky and hot skin. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and a pair of mismatched eyes staring at him. He turned to look at Kakashi, catching sight of the Sharingan eye. A whimper escaped his lips and he quickly turned away, suddenly feeling the choking sensation of fear gripping his throat.

He missed the look of hurt on Kakashi's face.

_Prostitute._

Iruka shakily got out of bed, leaving the sticky sheets behind and padded for the bathroom. Kakashi did not follow him, but his eyes were still on his figure, even as the door closed. Iruka could almost feel his gaze boring through the wood of the closed bathroom door.

_Whore._

Iruka brought a hand to his chest and suddenly began to cough. He could still feel those burning black straps around him, squeezing him. He was still light headed. Bringing a hand over his mouth while the other fumbled for the cold tap, he continued coughing.

Then he heard the dripping noise. Not the gushing sound of running water, but a loud echoing dripping noise.

_Like my dream. _

He looked down at the white sink and found scarlet drops slowly dripping down the hand covering his mouth. The drops were like drums in his ears and then everything was just quiet and all he could hear was those very drops. It stained the white porcelain a dizzying pink color as it mixed with water.

But it was not water.

He never really opened the tap.

He thought he did.

But he didn't.

Blood wasn't mixing with water.

His dripping blood was mixing with his dripping tears.

TBC

Just to answer a few reviews.

1) No, Iruka does not have cancer or acid reflex. Why he's getting sick will be explained later on in future chapters – or you'll just have to figure it out I guess! All part of the fun! Weeee!

2) The only Water references I took was that line "It's a common story…" because I thought it was fantastic. I don't think I nipped anything else, or if I did, must have been unconsciously. Like I said, that doujin was a MAJOR inspiration.

3) Demon thing – right! Read above dream sequence and if it's still not clear, I'll try to explain it at the end of the next chapter. Just fire away questions. However, I will not answer questions that will give away the plot. The only person who knows what I'm doing is my cousin and my beta-reader. Nya!

4) Shortness of chapter – Even I'm getting annoyed. I will extend the chapters gradually. I write on an average of 4 pages on MS WORD using font 12. It will slowly increase till it reaches an average of 7 or 8 pages a chapter. As long as I get more ideas, then it gets longer.

5) I am NOT making Kakashi evil. I'm making him detached. Come on, he does care! You'll see.

6) I have NEVER written a fic in this style before. This is like all sex and angst and it's something I've never dared to cross. This is the first time and so, if you're feeling queasy about all the implications of sex, then I suggest don't read because it's getting worst – I have typed till part 7 and well, just a warning.

I think I've tackled that. Any suggestions on how to make the fic darker are more than welcome! I treasure your ideas and input so if you have any, shoot!

Ja!


	5. Part 5

Me is tired and feeling the remnants of jetlag. Eew! Sorry for this being late. I intened to post on Saturday, but got busy with packing and other stuff. So here's five! A big thanks to b4k4-girl for beta-reading this. Also, to all FAINT readers, I am unable to update yet simply because 15, 16 and 17 are undergoing beta-reading at the moment. Late, yes. Had to rewrite those three chapters you see. So, I'm sorry for that too.

As for all BYNK readers, err, that too is undergoing beta-reading. So, I'm sorry again. Uh, the illustration is done and you can find it by going to me homepage.

Oh well, here ya guys go!

Enjoy!

**JU-ON 5**

Iruka brought the hand covering his mouth in front of his face, the fingers dripping with crimson liquid, making his eyes widen till they hurt. Almost immediately, he bucked and heaved. He covered his mouth once more and turned a good one-eighty-degrees, sank onto his knees by the toilet seat and threw up his dinner. He was so shocked by what he saw that his mind just couldn't process it. He continued heaving, unaware that as his stomach gradually emptied and he was reduced to spitting stomach liquids out, drops of red managed to join the contents swirling inside the porcelain bowl.

"Oh god." He whimpered and heaved again, mouth dribbling with saliva and blood. "What's happening to me?" He whispered.

A cold hand touched his shoulder and he whirled in shock to find his reflection on the white tiles of his bathroom walls. The feeling of sickness completely vanished as he shakily got to his feet and pressed the flush button. He gave his surroundings a cautious surveying look before reaching for the tap and rinsing his hands and the splats of red around the sink. Once the sink was clean, he bent over the sink and splashed his face with cold water, gargling some to get the acidic and metallic tangy taste off his throat and tongue. That done, he shakily turned the tap off and stood his full length.

Freakish and manic red eyes greeted him in the mirror, making him gasp out loud and cover his face with his cold soaking hands. He shut his eyes tight, not wanting to see his reflection. The pale face planted itself firmly in his mind.

Just like the man in his dream.

With trembling fingers he pried his fingers apart and found himself staring at his own reflection. The real Umino Iruka, looking tired and pale and shaken. Sighing, and chuckling at his own silliness, he turned to pull the doorknob open. He felt his hand touch cool fingers and he jumped, a loud gasp escaping his lips, and he snatched his hand back as if it was burned. He stared at the door with fear dancing in his dark eyes, not sure to what to do. He felt a puff of cool air caress his ear and neck and he shivered on the spot, a hand coming up to clamp itself on the blown area of his head.

"Stop." He whispered, wrapping his arms around himself. "Leave me alone." He begged, shutting his eyes tight.

"_Iruka." _

The soft, whispering, haunting voice rang loudly in his ears.

With his heart pounding, he flung the bathroom door open and pulled it shut behind him, placing a hand on his chest as he tried to calm his breathing. He stared at the ground for a long while, trying to arrange his thoughts, but they were in a whirl. He was shaking from fright and his legs were like jelly. He lifted his gaze to the bed and found Kakashi lying on his back, eyes looking at him with a strange glow. Kakashi had purposefully finger-brushed his hair to one side so that his Sharingan eye was covered.

Iruka took quick trembling strides to the bed, ignoring the flaky feeling of semen caressing his thighs and torso and just huddled so that he was facing Kakashi, his back to the bathroom door. Kakashi said nothing, but closed his eyes once he saw that Iruka was lying still.

Then came the surprised voice. "Iruka?"

"Sorry." Iruka mumbled, tightening his hold around Kakashi's torso.

"Whores don't cuddle." He said flatly, but made no move to get out of Iruka's rather desperate embrace.

"Just this once, your whore wants to." Iruka whispered, voice trembling.

"It was just a dream."

_Whore._

"I know." Iruka whispered, fingers digging in to Kakashi's flesh. "But somehow it feels like I'm still dreaming."

XXX

He couldn't sleep the whole night. While Kakashi lay beside him, breathing deep in sleep, he remained wide-awake, staring at a scar on Kakashi's chest. He couldn't bring himself to close his eyes in fear that he might fall into another painful dream. His mind whispered that he might be suffering from insomnia but he merely chuckled inwardly. There were many factors that could be behind the whole thing. For all he knew, it could be from work.

_Or it could because of your nightly 'jobs'._

_Slut._

Iruka shut his eyes tiredly. He felt so drained and weak. His back and limbs were aching with a constant dull throb. He was desperate to grab some aspirins and perhaps throw in a few sleeping pills down his throat so as to get a dreamless sleep. He shivered suddenly, feeling an invisible cool touch glaze his skin. He desperately held on to the body beside him causing Kakashi to whimper a bit in annoyance in his sleep due to the extremely tight hold.

_Prostitute._

"I'm not." Iruka whispered desperately, hoping to assure himself. "I'm not." He shut his eyes tightly, small tears escaping the closed lids. "I'm not."

_Whore._

XXX

Iruka left the bed at seven and padded to the kitchen. It was a gray Sunday morning, the dark clouds lazily floating in the blue sky. Iruka felt very drained. He barely got any sleep and had cried to himself in denial as his mind reminded him of what he was.

_I'm not!_

_Whore._

_Slut._

_Prostitute._

"I'm not!" He snapped, flinging the glass in his hand across the kitchen. It shattered into several shards when it collided with the beige kitchen wall tile, fragments scattering all over the clean floor. Iruka slumped on the counter, sobbing quietly, hands balled into fists. "I'm not. I'm not." He whispered desperately.

He banged his fist against the counter before sitting up and burying his face in his hands instead. Minutes ticked away and he remained his sitting position, face in his hands. He heard the bathroom door slide shut. That only meant that Kakashi was awake. He dropped his hands and stared at the mess he made. Mechanically, he stood up and took out a floor brush and a dustpan from under the sink and slowly began to pick the bigger pieces of the broken glass. He was still picking them up when Kakashi walked in to the kitchen, shower fresh and smelling of the citrus scented soap that he seemed to love.

"Did you drop that?" He asked. Iruka didn't answer. He merely picked up the floor brush and began to carefully sweep away the smaller pieces into the dustpan. Kakashi said nothing more to push the matter of the broken glass. Iruka placed before him a mug of coffee and a bowl of cereal. "You don't have to do this."

"What kind of a whore would I be if I didn't?" Iruka asked quietly, back to Kakashi as he mixed some sugar into his cup of black coffee.

"You really do think of yourself as one, don't you?" Kakashi mumbled as he stirred his cereal. "My little whore."

"That's what you want, isn't it?" Iruka said, sliding on to the stool opposite of Kakashi and staring into his mug. "Or have I been unsatisfactory lately?"

Kakashi stopped eating his cereal and looked up to stare at Iruka with his single dark exposed eye. "Unsatisfactory?" He asked, and then smirked. "No. I'd still like to keep you."

_Whore._

_Slut._

_Prostitute._

Iruka made no reply.

"_Iruka."_

He dropped his mug from shock, jumping to his feet when he heard the cool, chilling voice whisper his name. He looked at Kakashi. He wished, just wished, that Kakashi was someone else. He wished Kakashi were someone who could help him, hold him and comfort him. But he wasn't. He was now looking at him as if he'd grown a second head.

"_You whore."_

Iruka looked around him wildly, finding nothing but the normal settings of his house and kitchen and Kakashi staring at him with that odd glint in his eyes again. Iruka could feel the nausea return to him full blast. He hoped he wouldn't vomit because he had nothing left to vomit anyway.

"K-Kakashi?" He asked, wrapping his arms around himself. "Do you sense anyone nearby?"

Kakashi frowned. "No. Why?" Iruka started to feel dizzy and was swaying on his chair. Kakashi stood up in alarm. "Iruka?"

Iruka forced himself to stand up and slowly made his way to the couch, where he sat down heavily. Kakashi had followed him this time and was about to shake him and demand an explanation for his odd behavior.

But Iruka had already closed his eyes and fallen into the arms of unconsciousness.

TBC

Okay, this chapter is corny. It had to be typed though. I know it's short, but I'm still kinda' thinking how to maneuver this thing and actually have them think outside the "let's fuck" and "my whore" thing. Anyway, answers to reviews.

1) Nope, most definitely NOT acid reflux or reflex.

2) Iruka and a shrink? It's an idea that came to my head once, and still thinking of it. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?

3) Oh and it's not an ulcer. I couldn't stop laughing when I read that review. Nope, no ulcers here.

Anyway, that's about it. I got a KakaIru one-shot in the beta-reading process called Nine Lives. Something I wrote in the plane during 9 hrs of utter boredom – and sadness. Anyway, toodles people!


	6. Part 6

Sorry for being late. I won't give an excuse. Don't see the point anyway.

Here's the next chappy.

**JU-ON 6**

_"You're back." _

_Iruka lifted his head that was lolled heavily to one side. His arms were held above his head, wrists and hands tied with the familiar black straps, along with his waist. He could hear someone shift comfortably behind, though on what, he didn't know. He coughed out painfully when he felt the straps squeeze him tight again. His throat was already too raw and too sore to even produce any sound. _

_"Do you know why you're still here?" The cold voice asked, and Iruka felt fingers caress his aching back. "Because you've not completed your end of the bargain." Iruka gave out a small whimper of protest as the cool fingers continued ghosting cold silky touches on his shoulder. The straps around him tightened and blood came spurting out of his mouth. "You'll pay with your life, boy. The longer you take, the more pain you'll feel. They will never stop haunting you."_

_"W-W-Who?" Iruka managed to choke out, shutting his eyes tight as more blood oozed out his mouth in dangerously huge amounts._

_"Those who carry the same grudge as you do." The voice whispered. "Kill him. Kill him now! Kill him!"_

_"No!"_

XXX

Iruka sat up wildly, gasping for breath and feeling the burning hot sensation around his waist, torso and arms like those of what the black straps felt in his dream. Almost unconsciously, he hands came to his lips, which were dry. He was expecting them to be wet with blood.

"Oi." Kakashi said. "You were screaming in your sleep."

Iruka couldn't answer. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to face his dream again. He didn't want to hear the cold, haunting voice reminding him of what he said years ago due to childish anger. Surely a stupid illusion of the mind was not going to make him actually kill the boy. He loved Naruto. And it was just the stress taking its toll.

He brought a hand to his face and rubbed it tiredly. He was thankful it was Sunday and the day was going by while he had so much work to do. There was laundry to tackle, house cleaning, quiz marking and homework checking. He felt too tired to do anything.

"Are you feeling cold? It's kind of warm in here." Kakashi said.

Iruka was shaking like a wet chick. He was feeling cold and afraid. How could a dream have such an impact?

_Maybe because it felt so real._

_Slut._

Iruka shook his head to himself, clearing any silly thoughts. "Concerned, are we? Oh, I'm surprised. I didn't know you cared." He said in a low sarcastic voice.

"You need a vacation."

"Yeah." Iruka said. "I need a vacation from you." Kakashi was not impressed by what Iruka said and he showed this by narrowing his eyes.

"What is it you really want, Iruka?" Kakashi asked, voice deepening in a way in which those who heard never really lived that long either. "Love? A real meaningful relationship? Cuddles like in romance books? What?"

Iruka shakily got to his feet. "I just need some sleep."

"Yeah, right." Kakashi said, crossing arms across his chest. "You are one stubborn whore to crack, you know that?"

"Then go find yourself another whore. Simple as that. The door is that way."

"Shut up!" Kakashi snapped and lashed out. Iruka found his head facing one side, his cheek stinging. "Shut up. You're pissing me off." He growled and pinned Iruka on the wall, burying his face in Iruka's neck, while his lips nipped at the soft, already kiss-bruised flesh.

Iruka didn't care anymore.

He was nothing to him anyway.

XXX

Iruka was lying on the bed motionless as Kakashi emptied himself inside him once more. He was staring at one spot, unseeing. When Kakashi pulled out, and settled on his back beside him, Iruka mechanically sat up and began to gather the clothes around the room, placing them in the laundry basket. Kakashi watched him with half-lidded eyes as he made his way to the laundry room and sorted the pile of clothes into colors and whites. He poured the detergent powder into the water and set the timer, watching as the clothes spun in the whirling piece of metal of his washing machine. He wanted to change the bed sheets but it was going to be pointless since another round of sex that night was just going to soil them again.

Still, he didn't want to lie on a dirty, sex-smelling bed.

_Prostitute._

He hugged his knees to his chest, resting his head on top of them as the constant and steady whirr of the washing machine filled the laundry room. He could smell the soapy scent of detergent tickling his nose. He still had to iron his uniform and wash the dishes. Plus he needed to get some lunch prepared.

Standing up, he padded for the kitchen and checked the fridge. He had nothing worth cooking up for a decent meal. He would have to order some take out. He padded to the bedroom to get his wallet. He found Kakashi leaning against the window, staring at the drizzling atmosphere outside. He found his wallet by the side table and grabbed it, stuffing it into his pocket. He made no effort to say anything to Kakashi who was now looking at him, expecting a comment of some sort, but he got none.

As Iruka passed by the mirror on his way out, he froze. He could have sworn he did not see his own reflection. Shivering at an invisible cold, he felt fear grip his heart and all courage just leak out of him. He couldn't bring himself to look in the mirror again.

He rushed out of the apartment, without an umbrella, and headed for the market to get some food.

XXX

The market did not have many fresh greens that he planned on buying. Since it was already the middle of the afternoon, it was pure logic that all the good things were sold in the morning and with the rainy season constantly on the roll, there were not many farmers in the country that could produce good quality greens.

He ended up getting canned food from the grocery store and few protein-based products. He wasn't very keen on eating beans, but it was the result of him stalling grocery shopping and spending more time in bed getting screwed by a certain Jounin.

_Whore._

Shifting the weight of the bag in his hand, he made his way down the quiet street, the rain pouring and drenching him to the core.

"Should have brought an umbrella." He mumbled and cleared the itching in his throat.

His vision began to get a bit cloudy and the itching in his throat got worst. He brought a hand to cover his mouth as he took a turn into one of the dirty alleyways on his way home. He leaned against the brick wall and began to cough, his ribs starting to ache from the violent wracking of his lungs. He spat on the ground, seeing that his saliva was stained red. Fear gripped him tightly once more and he ran down the street towards his home as fast as he could, the taste of copper thick on his tongue. He fumbled for his apartment keys, his hand shaking so bad that he couldn't get the key to enter the keyhole. A loud click boomed in his ears as he managed to turn the lock and slam the door shut behind him. He dropped the grocery bags in the kitchen, leaving a trail of rainwater as he rushed to the bedroom to get rid of his soaking clothes. He changed into drier clothes, tossed the soaking ones into the bathroom, not caring where they fell, and headed for the laundry room. Once inside the small room, he began to catch his breath. He counted till ten to calm himself down a bit, until he felt that his heart pumped back at its normal pace.

He thought of going to the Hokage and asking her for some medicine that could help or maybe a little check up to see what was wrong with him. He told himself to think about it. Taking in a shaking breath, he padded for the washing machine where his whites were now ready to be taken out and hung out to dry. He went to fetch the laundry basket and crouched in front of the round glass door of his washing machine, reaching inside to take the contents out. He did it mechanically, taking out underwear, vests, house clothes, towels, etcetera while he looked at the sachet of detergent powder in his other hand, struggling to open it with one hand.

"Damn sachet. Ugh! Open already!" He grumbled, taking out another pair of underwear. He reached in again and grabbed another piece of white fabric that felt quite heavy, just like a towel. He frowned and grunted, pulling the fabric some more. He cursed a bit, and tried to get a better grip of the piece inside. His fingers brushed silky strands, like nylon, and he frowned. He managed to get the sachet open and set it down, just as he managed to give the stubborn heavy piece of clothing inside his washing machine a strong tug out. A bumping noise made his eyebrows crease in a frown and he turned to take an annoyed glance at the stuck piece of clothing in his hand.

What he saw instead was a head staring at him upside down, the white, wet fabric of what should have been a shirt or gown tightly gripped in his hand, along with strands of dark colored hair. His eyes widened as the head tilted back, and dark red eyes and a snarling mouth with a sick looking, mouldy tongue hanging out faced him. Iruka attempted to let go of the neckline and hair that he was gripping, but cool, long-nailed hands grabbed his wrist, making the cry of fear choke in the middle of his throat.

_"Iruka." _The mouth said, saliva dripping down the pale cheeks and on to his floor. _"Iruka!"_ The voice shrieked, while the face's eyes widened, showing him endless pools of red. Blood began to drip from the washing machine and onto the floor, crawling towards Iruka. The saliva that was dripping on the floor was now also stained red and Iruka let out a shuddering gasp as blood began to dribble down the wide-open mouth, the mouldy tongue now beating against the pale colored lips. _"Iruka!"_ It shrieked louder.

Iruka shut his eyes and finally let loose the scream that was building in his throat.

TBC

Ah well. There you go. I couldn't stand looking at our washing machine after rereading this. . 

Edited by b4-k4 girl! Sankyuu!


	7. Part 7

Ick! Haven't updated this in a while. Let's just say it's writer's block.

Sowie!

But, I promise to work on this now. With Faint out of the way, I can dedicate more time to this, and hopefully finish with a … good ending. Kinda' …

Oh well, sowie again!

EDIT: Here's the beta-read version, courtesy of V-chan! Yay! Thank you!

**JU-ON 7**

****

****

****

Kakashi looked around the semi-neat apartment in puzzlement. Iruka was in the apartment, because he could feel his chakra lightly beating, he just didn't know where. Looking around, he found the kitchen and bathroom empty. The bedroom looked the same just as he had left it that afternoon to do gate-duty, except that the laundry basket was missing.

Kakashi gingerly turned on his heels and headed for the laundry room next to the storeroom at the end of the hall. He pushed the door open and blinked when he found Iruka lying in the middle of a puddle of water that had come from the bed sheet hanging from the open washing machine. There was a heavy smell of detergent powder in the room, because a sachet lay open on the floor beside Iruka, which had managed to mix and bubble up with the water dripping from the protruding bed sheet.

Iruka wasn't moving.

Kakashi quickly hurried to his side and gathered the unconscious form in his arms, lightly slapping his cheek to wake him up. "Iruka! Oi! Oi, Iruka!"

Iruka blinked a bit and stared at him before his eyes widened and he pushed him off, staggering to his feet and leaning against the far wall, eyes staring wildly at the washing machine. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at the behavior, eyes softening a bit. He felt slightly hurt by the reaction, much to his surprise.

"Oh god." Iruka whispered, running his fingers through his hair before burying his face in his hands. His shoulders trembled a bit, and Kakashi watched as Iruka wiped at his eyes, taking in a shaking breath. His eyes were slightly red and puffy.

"What happened to you?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka shook his head. "Nothing. I - Nothing. It's nothing." He said, sounding more like he was reassuring himself rather than Kakashi. Kakashi watched as Iruka approached the washing machine and took out the bed sheet, dumping it in the basket. Like nothing happened, Iruka picked up the basket and headed out for his balcony where he hung his laundry.

Kakashi followed him out, staring at his back while sitting on the couch, as he hanged his laundry. A crease appeared between his eyebrows as he watched Iruka bring up a hand to cover his mouth as he began to cough.

But he said nothing.

As usual.

XXX

Iruka tiredly carried the empty basket back to the laundry room, taking out the mop from the storeroom, and began the task of cleaning the tiled floors of the room. It was already ten PM....he must have been out for four hours. It was not the type of rest he wanted, but he did get some sleep and for once he didn't dream anything.

_Whore._

Iruka finished mopping and gathered the empty sachets of detergent in his hand to throw away in the kitchen trash bin. Before he left, his eyes strayed towards the washing machine door. He felt his breath cut short as he saw a ghastly hand press against the round glass door of the washing machine. He took a quick step back and slammed the door shut.

_Slut._

He began to breathe rapidly, tears leaking out of his eyes. He dumped the mop inside the storeroom and headed for his bedroom. He threw himself on the bed, clamping hands on his ears and shutting his eyes. Tears of frustration, self-loathing and fear leaked out of his eyes as he began to repeat a silent and barely audible mantra in his head.

"Go away! Please go away! Leave me! Go away! Leave me! I did nothing! I have done nothing! Leave me alone! Go away!"

He could hear distant laughing, and he pressed his hands against his ears tightly. Cold hands pulled him so that he was lying on his back.

"No! Go away! I have done nothing! Leave me alone! No! No! I won't do it! I won't! Leave me! Go away!" Iruka begged in a low weak voice, fighting the cold hands grabbing him and shaking him.

_"Kill him! You must kill him! Break his little neck! Rip his eyes out! Break his bones! Kill him!"_

"No!" Iruka shouted back fighting the hands holding him.

_"Iruka!"_

Iruka flinched at the cold shrilly voice ringing in his ears and continued whimpering under the vice-like grip.

_"Iruka! Iruka! Iruka!"_

"Iruka!"

Iruka opened his eyes, pupils dilating as he let out a loud blood-curdling scream.

Kakashi flinched at the scream. The only times he had heard screams like the one coming out of Iruka's mouth was when someone just found out that they lost a family member or a close friend. Or possibly someone dying in battle. Iruka was staring at him wildly, the scream dissolving into sobbing fits as he shamefully hid his face from him in his hands, lying on his side and crying softly. Kakashi stared at him for a while, contemplating whether to leave him or stay.

"I didn't mean it! I don't want to do it! I can't! I didn't mean it!" Iruka whispered desperately, voice broken and cracked and accompanied by little sniffles as he cried silently.

Kakashi pulled his shirt off and lay on the bed, wrapping an arm around Iruka. He didn't want Iruka to be alone just yet, just in case he tried something stupid. Iruka began to cough rather violently from all the crying and screaming. Kakashi rearranged their positions, and gently placed a kiss on Iruka's shoulder.

"Stop it." Iruka whispered.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"Don't kiss me like that." Iruka said quietly, staring emptily at his window.

"Why not?" Kakashi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because they feel empty." Iruka said, huddling into a ball and ignoring the fact that Kakashi had his arm around him. "Because I'm just your whore."

_Prostitute._

Kakashi winced slightly at how Iruka said it. So resigned and so quiet that it actually felt like he was just punched in the gut. He reached out to gently smooth down Iruka's hair. He didn't know what was wrong with Iruka or why he was acting so jumpy. It was disturbing.

And even he was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

XXX

Iruka continued staring out into the night, watching as the evening sky gradually turned into day. It was slightly drizzling outside, and he didn't sleep the whole night. He could feel Kakashi's warm chest against his back, his arm still around his waist. Iruka reminded himself bitterly that the only reason Kakashi was holding him was because he was hugging the pillow that Kakashi normally held at night. He was just a substitute for a pillow and nothing more.

No sweet stuff.

No cute cuddles.

No hugs.

Just empty words.

Empty kisses.

Iruka felt his eyes water as he thought of his position at the moment. He hated himself, hated his weakness and goodwill and kind-heartedness. He sat up slowly and padded for the bathroom to take a shower. He turned the hot tap on and allowed the water to cleanse his tired body. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes as some of the tight knots in his muscles relaxed under the hot spray. Iruka began to feel very tired and very old all of a sudden.

Rinsing the last remains of the soapsuds and shampoo, he dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist before brushing his teeth. He opened the mirror cupboard on the top of his sink and took out some aspirins that he swallowed dry. He gave out a shaky sigh as he shut the mirror cupboard, his reflection turning to that of the man in his dreams. Iruka gasped out loud and quickly covered his face with his hands. Cool fingers reached out from the mirror's surface, lightly touching his arm. Iruka gave out a loud scream, eyes shut tight in panic, until he heard the door open and Kakashi burst in. His legs wobbled like jelly and he felt himself collapse on his knees. He was trembling and shaking, while Kakashi knelt beside him, a hand on his shoulder and back, as he tried to calm the panicky teacher.

Iruka managed to contain himself and pulled his hand down, staring up at the mirror. The image was gone. The nightmare that was somehow manifesting itself in his reality was gone.

Temporarily.

Almost in panic, Iruka got up from the bathroom floors and rushed for his closet. He threw his cabinet doors open and grabbed a clean uniform. He pulled them on, not even bother turning to Kakashi's calls.

"Iruka, can you stop for a minute?" Kakashi finally snapped, grabbing his wrist and holding it in a vice grip. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Iruka shook his head. "Nothing is wrong with me! Let go."

"No! You're lying!" Kakashi hissed.

"Like you care!" Iruka fired back, wrenching his hand free. " I've got work to do. Your sex can wait till later."

Without another word, Iruka left the apartment.

Kakashi remained standing in the middle of the room, dumbfounded.

TBC

Kakashi cares! Full stop! I'm not making him a badass because I love Kakashi too!


	8. Part 8

A big thank you to Kagaya who has been very supportive with me in this chapter (and upcoming ones too). Not only has she helped me out of my slump, but she's given me a little push here and there to improve my writing and character descriptions. Wah! Thank you!

It's back on a roll, peeps! Enjoy!

JU-ON 8 

Iruka brought a hand to his face, just as the door slammed shut with the last child all but running out of the classroom. It's been a rough day for him, and his lack of sleep and tension welling up inside him was taking its toll on his teaching abilities. His temper overrode his rational thinking and calm handling of mischief in class and the pounding headache he had was not helping either. He was so tired and so sleepy, and yet he didn't want to sleep in fear of what he might see and feel. He knew that the past few days were hectic for him and the children were sitting rigid as stones in their seats, some even being dragged to the academy by their parents or elder siblings. Apparently, some of the bold children were putting up a fight at home to not attend classes. He already sent one of the children home crying after he yelled out of control when a bunch of them were making too much noise at the corner of the classroom, upbringing insulted as well. He knew, sooner or later, the parents would be coming in to give him the talk.

He rubbed his temples briefly and turned towards the door, heading for the men's washroom and went about relieving his bladder. All the anger sessions in class tensed his insides so bad that everything was contracting twice their speed. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he headed for the sink, turning the tap on and pumping some of the liquid soap in to his hands. Mechanically rubbing his hands together, he kept his eyes at the foaming suds, inhaling the clean scent shakily, when a coughing fit attacked him. He rinsed his hands quickly and brought one of them to his mouth, as the familiar taste of copper tainted his tongue. It was almost like a routine now. He coughed the spit, red splattering the white porcelain sink. The coughing eventually subsided, leaving him out of breath and his heart pumping fast. He swallowed shakily and splashed water all over the sink, washing away all traces of his blood. When he washed his hands, he used more soap this time.

A debate started in his mind. He wondered if he should approach the Hokage with his problem, thinking that perhaps she could give him some form of medication to help with his sleeping disorder and this sickness that was wearing him down. It'd been nearly a week since he had any form sleep without waking up in cold sweat or a coughing fit and most of them were caused from fainting. He was beginning to doubt himself if he could keep up the façade of being okay for long. Sooner or later, someone was going to notice. Shaking his head slightly, he turned the tap off and shook his hands dry. He froze when he felt cool air caress his neck, then his hands. Instinctively, he looked behind to see if someone had entered and, much to his chagrin, he found the washroom's door closed.

Fear gripped him, because it only meant one thing. He looked up at the ceiling slowly, and his eyes widened, as his hands gripped the sink tightly to keep his balance. The lights flickered rapidly, causing the corners of the washroom to conjure up dark and eerie shadows. Dark black straps started to extend from the ceiling, pooling in to a mass of black on the tile floors, like some mad jungle vine. There was a faint buzzing sound from the electricity being played with, a rhythmic hiss that could have been mistaken for heavy and angry breathing. His gazed dropped to the long mirror and he came face to face with his reflection.

No, not his reflection.

He came face to face with _him. _The other person, who was now grinning widely, a set of white enamels flashing, red irises gleaming in the flickering light.

_"Kill him! Kill him! You vowed to kill him!" _The grin stretched even wider, and Iruka saw a glimpse of red gums amidst the flickering lights. _"Iruka! Kill him! Kill him!"_

Iruka grounded his teeth together, the black straps now crawling towards his feet. "Shut up." Iruka hissed, glaring at the reflection. "You're not real!"

_"Kill him!"_

"Shut up!"

_"Kill him!"_

"SHUT UP!" Iruka brought his fist to contact with the mirror's surface, a loud crash sounding throughout the entire washroom, as shards or glass spilled all over the floor, and all that was left in front of him was the empty plain rust tinted white tiles. His breathing evened, as the lights returned to its normal glow. Like nothing happened, he turned on his heel and walked towards the door, leaving a trail of bloody drops all the way to the classroom, courtesy of his bleeding hand.

Upon opening the sliding door, he found himself surprised to see the Hokage waiting for him inside, a frown on her beautiful features, eyes hard and quite disappointed as she looked at him.

"I was waiting for you." Tsunade said.

"I – I – Good afternoon, Hokage-sama. Why didn't you summon for me? I could have come to you right away." Iruka said, his politeness kicking in.

"A spur of the moment. I bumped in to one of the parents on my way to the mission room. We need to talk. And what did you do to your hand?" She motioned to his bleeding hand, which now left a very bloody mess on the clean floor. "Come on. Let's get that treated."

"Yes, Hokage-sama. Thank you." Iruka said, dipping his head in a bow of politeness, before following Tsunade towards her office.

XXX

Tsunade had him sitting on one of the stools in her office, his hand on top of a clean white towel that she spread on her table, while she picked out the pieces of glass from his hand with a pair of tweezers. Two cups of warm tea were brought in by one of the office helpers earlier, and Iruka was quite content with just staring at the gray cup, not wanting to meet Tsunade's gaze.

"You sent one of your students home crying today, didn't you?" Tsunade asked, picking out another large glass piece and placing it in to the small plastic container beside Iruka's hand.

"I'm sorry."

"I have nothing against it, because I remember going home crying more than once during my first few years in the academy." Iruka felt his cheeks redden with shame. "But I never went home crying because my teacher insulted me and my family for something irrelevant like borrowing a pencil from my seatmate." Iruka wished he could just die at that moment. "I've never heard such a complain, especially one directed towards you."

Iruka, if possible, hung his head even lower. "I – I am very sorry. I didn't mean to say such harsh words." Iruka said sincerely and it was true. Now that he thought about it, he felt horrible for the child. It was the stress and the day was just going from bad to worst and it was the children who were at the receiving end of his wrath. It was unfair on their side.

"Is something bothering you Iruka?" Tsunade asked, as she picked the last piece of glass and performed a few seals, a green glow emitting from her open palm, as the wounds on Iruka's hand began to disappear.

"Umm – well, no. No, nothing really. It's been a horrible day." Iruka said, but his face didn't go well with his words. Tsunade tossed the bloodied towel in to the nearest bin, along with the disposable container filled with glass pieces.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, which he ignored, as he stared at his healed hand, quite amazed by her work. "Really." She said sarcastically.

"Really." Iruka nodded, all previous thoughts for asking help from Tsunade completely forgotten. Asking help would mean putting Kakashi in to trouble along with himself, because of the nightly activities. It would also mean, though he wasn't very sure, having Naruto distanced away from him. Last thing he wanted was to have Kakashi get in to trouble and for Naruto to be kept away. Surely, he would be able to handle that.

Tsunade pushed his teacup towards him. "You're looking a bit under the weather. Have you been sleeping properly?"

"You can say that." Iruka said, taking his cup and mumbling a thank you. He took a light sip of the warm tea, and immediately regretted it. The warm sensation that filled his stomach triggered several simultaneous twists in his guts, making him whimper. The porcelain cup crashed to the floor, breaking in to large solid pieces with a loud echoing tink. His hands came up to his mouth, stopping the nauseous feeling that he was suddenly feeling. Tsunade turned to look at him, eyes widening, as she caught sight of red drops escaping the gaps in between Iruka's clamped up hand.

"Iruka!" She gasped, rushing up to him and kneeling beside him. "What is this?"

Iruka gagged violently, huge amounts of blood gushing out his mouth and on to the spilt tea on the floor. His vision began to blur horribly until he felt himself falling forward to unconsciousness.

"Iruka!"

TBC

Oops? Review no jutsu!


	9. Part 9

Wah! Once again, credits and cookies to Kagaya for her support! Daisuki! hug

Enjoy!

TO ALL BYNK Readers: There will be a delay, because, well, I haven't typed it out yet when I was supposed to. Gomen … . 

JU-ON 9 

_Iruka kept his eyes tightly shut, not wanting to see what's in front of him. He felt his body being squeezed, yelling at himself._

_Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! _

_"You're stalling." Whispered the eerie cold voice. "You're wasting time. You need to kill him now! You have to kill him now!"_

_WAKE UP!_

XXX

Iruka sat up with a start, a gasp escaping his lips as he felt the muscles all over his body cramp and start to ache dully. He suddenly felt very sick and brought his hands to his mouth as he tried to stop the violent convulsions of his stomach.

"Here!" A metal pan was shoved beside the bed he was in, as he was guided to lean over the bed and empty his stomach.

He was blinded by the disgusting coppery taste in his mouth as he spat and heaved, his breath occasionally hitching in his throat. Minutes ticked by, and at the end of it all, he was tired and just wanted to pass out. His head was swimming and he felt too tired and drowsy. A brief glance at the pan told him that the contents were red and he didn't even want to take a closer look to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. With shaking hands, he pushed himself back against the bed he was on, tilting his head to one side so that he was facing the window on one side of the room. The sound of rushing water and shuffle of footsteps made him turn to find Tsunade drying her hands with a towel, looking seriously worried.

"Hokage-sama." He rasped out, a hand coming up to his throat. Only then did he notice that there was an IV tube attached to the back of his hand. He looked around himself, finally realizing that he was on a hospital bed, and the fact that Tsunade was now looking at him sadly, terrified him even more. "H-How long was I out for?"

"Two hours." Tsunade said, and placed a palm on his forehead. "Your fever seems to be gone."

"I was out for two hours?" Iruka asked, incredulous. Because it felt like two minutes.

"Yes."

"H – How? W-Why?" Iruka gaped, unsure if he should be thankful that his body got some sleep or if he should feel horrified that he did fall asleep.

"You coughed up blood in my office." Iruka fell silent, and stared at his hands. "Do you know why you're coughing up blood?" Iruka answered her with silence. "Iruka!"

"Shouldn't you be telling me that? That's your job isn't it?" Iruka snapped and quickly clamped a hand over his mouth when he realized that he just raised his voice. "Oh god. I'm sorry."

Tsunade, if possible looked even sadder. "I don't know what's wrong with you yet. I've sent some of your blood samples to the labs for testing, and while you were unconscious, I had a few body scans done." She then stepped closer to him, narrowing her eyes. "How long have you been coughing up blood?"

"A – A f-few days."

"Why didn't you come to me?" Tsunade snapped, resisting the urge to grab Iruka by the collar of his gown. "You're putting your life on the line! Don't you care?" Iruka didn't answer. Tsunade then gestured to his shoulder. "Also, your body is littered with bruises and there are a few –" She bit her lower lip in search for the right word. "Marks on your back side and inner thighs that surely cannot be gained through fights." Iruka tensed. "What's going on Iruka?"

"I've been rather careless at home." Before Tsunade could even comment on his words, he cut her off by speaking once more. "I haven't been sleeping properly. Do you have any strong sedative that would ensure dreamless-sleep?"

Tsunade nodded. "I do. Though, usually I wouldn't prescribe it, but, judging from your situation, you'll need it badly." Tsunade headed for the medicine cabinet in the corner and pulled out a syringe and bottle filled with yellow liquid. "How long do you want to be out for?"

"As long as possible." Iruka said tiredly. "I need a lot of sleep."

Tsunade used a large dosage of the medicine and injected it in to Iruka's arm. "There. You should start to feel very sleepy soon."

"Thank you." Iruka leaned his head back in the pillow, feeling the effects of the medicine finally grasp him. "Thank you very much."

In seconds, he was fast asleep, lost in the dark corners of his mind, all alone, all quiet and dark.

XXX

Thirty-nine hours passed since Tsunade had Iruka confined to a hospital room and constantly monitored. The results from the lab were due soon and to say that she was impatient was an understatement. She had already sent a memo to the lab staff that she really was going to have her way with them if they don't hurry up, but the tests needed time and controlled environments.

She sighed loudly and ran her fingers through her bangs. "What a day." A knock on the door made her look up. "Come in."

"The results, Hokage-sama." A messenger from the hospital entered, handed her a brown envelope and gave a bow of respect. "Will that be all?"

"It's fine." Tsunade waved a hand, mumbled thanks and eagerly opened the envelope. She took out the several scans of Iruka's internal organs, studying every picture with growing fear and shock. "What the -?" Her breathing was coming out rapidly, as she grabbed the charts within the envelope and stared at the lab results. "Oh heavens. No." She gathered all the materials and shoved them in to the envelope, and quickly dashed out of her office, ignoring the reminders of her important meetings. "Cancel all of them! I'm busy!"

And her secretary could only gape as she rounded off the corner and disappeared down the stair well.

XXX

Tsunade entered Iruka's room and stared at the still sleeping figure on the bed. She flicked a glance at the new packet of IV fluid and the clipboard at the foot of the bed. Iruka hasn't woken up since he was confined, and Tsunade knew it was time for him to come out of his sleeping state. The dosage she gave him usually lasts for about three days, but it couldn't be helped. Iruka looked paler and extremely worn out.

She set the envelope at the foot of the bed and took out a syringe and the counter medicine for the previous drug she gave Iruka. She injected the fluid in to him gently, and waited for a few minutes till Iruka's breathing grew a bit faster.

XXX

The quiet darkness began to dissolve. Images of angry faces began to appear all around him, all pointing accusing fingers at him, mumbling curses of betrayal.

_"You will never find peace. You will never rest!"_

_Shut up!_

_"You cannot rest!"_

_Shut up!_

_"Kill him!"_

SHUT UP! 

Then he was being squeezed again, the burning sensations blinding him.

XXX

Iruka snapped his eyes open and screamed out loud, clawing at his throat to get rid of the burning feeling that he saw in his black void of a nightmare. Hands grabbed his own and sharp shake and cry of his name made him stare blearily in to a pair of honey brown eyes.

"Hokage-sama?" Iruka blinked and sat up, looking around him. "I – I – oh god!" He brought hands to his face, and sighed very tiredly. "I fell asleep?"

"For more than twenty-four hours." Tsunade said, checking his pulse and temperature.

"It doesn't feel like that." Iruka grumbled, and pressed his hands to his cheeks, just to make sure he was awake.

"Iruka, I got your test results." Tsunade sat on the bed in front of him, and stared at him quietly. "Your symptoms are complicated. I have originally predicated what was wrong with you, but I didn't trust myself to have made the right analysis. So I run for a lab test and scanning."

Silence.

"What's wrong with me?" Iruka asked, his heart racing.

"Your entire system to accumulating excess heat. You're literally being fried from the inside." Tsunade took out a scanned image of his kidney and stomach and held it up for Iruka to see. "That is your kidney, and that is your stomach. The muscles walls are breaking down."

He stared at the red and orange image, and swallowed the large lump forming in his throat. "W-What does that mean?"

Tsunade placed the images back in to the envelope and placed it away from Iruka's reach. "A part of your brain that is responsible for monitoring your bodily heat is not functioning well. Added to that, something in your blood is helping with the heat accumulation, to that which I know nothing off." A look of sadness came to her face. "There is nothing I can do."

"W-What do you mean?" Iruka asked, swallowing again.

"You're dying, Iruka." Tsunade said with so much sadness, that Iruka felt the tears well up.

"I'm dying …"

TBC

Uh-oh. Oops?

Err – no, Iruka does NOT have TB!


	10. Part 10

First of all, my sincerest apology. All I can say is that the prolonged delay was due to my laptop crash and me mourning for its semi-death. I'm not going to give a full coverage. If you still want to know, there's a detailed entry in my journey about that.

Now that I am semi-back-on-a-roll mode, I can get my stories kicking. Unfortunately, BYNK and TCIM are going to be on semi-hold because, BYNK ain't done yet and TCIM - I am missing a chapter. I have six ready to post, but I lost five. I am only able to retrieve 6 from all the files I've lost - among other things. So until I can get kicking, TCIM will be on hold for just a few more days. BYNK - I have no promises. Again, you have my sincere apologies!

I want to thankKagaya for helping me get this chapter back - something I thought I lost. Thank heavens she had a copy! Bless you! I also want to thank my beta-reader v-chan (b4k4-girl)!

Oh well, on we go!

****

**JU-ON 10**

Swaying back and forth between trying to stay awake and his mind forcing him to get some sleep, Iruka stared blearily at the hospital ceiling. Tsunade confined him to the hospital for a few more nights, in order to do a thorough study of what was going on in his system, just incase she made a mistake. But Iruka saw it in her eyes that what she had diagnosed was not a mistake. He kept remembering her words, as to how his insides were melting with the accumulating heat. And maybe it explained the pain he was going through.

A heavy sigh escaped his slightly chapped and pale lips, as he forced himself to sit up and turn his body so that he was facing the window and watching the rain fall. The nurse had come in earlier, injecting him with medicines and attaching an IV fluid on to his arm so that his body would get its dosage of nutrients. He wanted to yell, to scream, to just strangle the nurse and tell her that it was no use treating him with medicines because he was dying anyway.

_I'm dying_.

Yet he remained quiet, allowed her to do her job, ate his small diet-fixed meal, and then lay on his bed for hours. A quick glance at the wall clock told him that it was twelve-forty-five in the morning. Tsunade told him not to worry about his class, and that she would have someone take over. Iruka had started blurting out lessons for the children, and all the safety tips in practicing since they were in shuriken handling at the moment, and Tsunade merely chuckled, patting his shoulder, and told him not to calm down. But Iruka couldn't, even if he wanted to. His head was shouting a frantic mantra hours ago that he was dying, which was now reduced to a quiet whisper caressing the sides of his thoughts.

_I'm dying._

What he found a bit surprising was his acceptance and lack of reaction on the outside to the news that his life was just cut short by a couple of decades. Yet, Tsunade looked at him with deep sadness, which told him of the inner fight the woman must be going through because of her pride as a medic. What was the use of being the best medic there was in Konoha when she couldn't even save him? When he saw that look in her eyes, he took her hands and gave them a slight squeeze, as if to say that he forgave her for the thing she couldn't do.

_I'm dying._

He began to wonder about the things he's done in his life. There weren't many things he achieved that were of silver-plaque-material. He had gained the trust of the village and that was something he treasured. Also, his love for Naruto and how the boy picked him as his role model and father figure instead of Kakashi or Jiraiya was enough to turn him in to puddle of mush. It was an achievement he was proud of and, when he thought about it, Naruto was the best thing that happened to him ever since he met him. And this was probably the reason why accepting his death seemed a bit easy.

He stared at his reflection on the window. He looked so tired and so old all of a sudden that it made him want to cry. He didn't know himself anymore and it hurts. A tired sigh escaped his lips, as he momentarily closed his eyes to soothe the burning ache behind his lids. He couldn't help but sigh as some of the burning feeling died away, until he felt a chill run down his spine, making him shiver. Fear enveloped him, and he suddenly realized his mistake. He opened his eyes, the pupils dilating. The sterile white walls and green curtains that were supposed to be framing a window were now gone. He was staring directly at someone. People. Lots of pale naked people, their bodies slightly tinged blue and sometimes green, like they were rotting. Their dark eyes were staring directly at him, rimmed with black circles and flashing malice. Iruka found his entire body numb.

"Why won't you kill him?" 

"_Why won't you kill him?"_

"_Why won't you kill him?" _

"_Why won't you kill him?"_

Iruka brought his hands to his face and shut his eyes tight. "No." He shook his head vigorously, feeling cool hands touching him everywhere. "No." He whispered again, and tried to get away from them, moving backwards on the bed. "No!" He shouted, and fell back on the other side, his back coming in to contact with the sterile hospital gray floor. He gave out a muffled cry and began to moan in pain. He shook his head and cracked his eyes open and found his red-eyed mirror image staring down at him, a manic grin on his face.

He backed away, choking on his own breath with fear and managed, somehow, to get on his feet and jump in to the bathroom, kicking the door shut, as he slid across the tiled floors, away from the door. His back came in to contact with what felt like knees and he gave out a surprised and choked gasp as he whipped around, the white yutaka he was wearing now very distorted on his frame. Looking up, he found his mirror-image, glaring down at him, leering, smirking and flashing extremely white teeth.

"You can't get away from me! You never will! Kill him! Kill him and live! Kill him and I'll give you peace! KILL HIM!"

Iruka didn't know how, but he managed to get away from the bathroom, semi run and crawl toward the door of his room and bolted down the quiet halls and out the hospital doors in quick blur, the rain drenching him as he rushed for his home, arriving in minutes.

Iruka twisted the doorknob of his front door frantically, completely forgetting that his clothes were in the hospital along with his belongings. Feeling rather desperate, he pulled his fist back – which was already bleeding from the hastily pulled out IV needle - concentrated and punched his door until the wood cracked and he made a small hole, just enough to squeeze his hand through and twist the knob from inside. The door clicked open and he pushed it desperately, wrenching his hand from the hole, injuring it and having several wooden splits embedded in to the already delicate state of his hand. He shut the door with a slam, and sat on the couch, curling up on one corner and leaning against the armrest, completely drenched. He buried his head in to one of his folded arms, his bleeding hand on his lap, soaking the white hospital yutaka he was wearing. He had moved pretty fast out of fear and he doubted anyone saw him running and even if they did, they would have seen nothing but a blur of white and dark hair.

Time didn't seem to have existed within him anymore. Everything just didn't seem to matter as he stared blankly – his eyes glazed with lurking death – at fabric of his couch. The cold from being soaked in the rain didn't seem to bother him. He was aware of his toes going numb along with the tips of his fingers and he wouldn't be surprised if they were blue already. He was begin to zone out, but his strong willpower to stay awake and not fall asleep kept his mind semi-conscious as he continued to stare at the fabric of his couch from his position. The sound of the door opening cautiously along with soft footsteps reached his senses, but he didn't care. He didn't even bother to look since there was only one person who would walk in to his house like he owned the place and this quietly.

A hand came to his shoulder shaking him. He wanted so badly to close his eyes and just sleep but fear was pulling him back from the one haven that he's been deprived off the past few days. Staring back at Kakashi's eyes, he could see the barest hints of questioning and puzzlement.

"Where were you?" Kakashi asked, although he already knew since the hospital symbol was stitched on to one sleeve of the robe he was wearing.

"Nowhere." Iruka replied, tiredly, almost dead. It was a whispered reply, tired and resigned.

Kakashi reached for the knot of the robe and tugged it loose, peeled the wet material off him and set it aside on the floor. "Get dried. You'll get sick."

"Doesn't matter." Iruka whispered.

"Stop it!" Kakashi said sharply. "Get up! Come on, get dried! How long have you been like this?"

"I don't know." Iruka whimpered. "I don't care."

"I said, stop it!" Kakashi snapped once more. "What's wrong with you? You were never like this."

"I know." Iruka whispered and shifted to that he was staring at the ceiling. "I know."

I'm dying.

"You need to get some sleep." Kakashi stood up and carried his light figure to the bed room, set him on the bed gently and grabbed a set of pajamas from the closet, helping him in to them. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie." Kakashi hissed and retrieved the medical kit from the bathroom. Using the tweezers, he began to pick out the little wooden splinters from Iruka's hand, applied some disinfectant and medicine and bandaged the minor wound, along with the one from the IV needle.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Iruka replied, turning his head away.

"So this is how it's going to be?" Kakashi asked, very annoyed. He was starting to get very quiet.

"I don't know why you're asking. I don't even know why you're bothering. You never used to anyway. Why start now?" Iruka asked, not even looking at him anymore. "I'm tired, Kakashi. I'm so very tired." Something in his voice was sending warning bells in Kakashi's head. But he said nothing and placed the medical kit on the side table. He got rid of his clothes, pulled on some cotton pants and joined Iruka in the bed. He wrapped his arms around him, rubbing gentle circles on the thin stomach. "Please don't." Iruka said half-heartedly.

"Don't what?" Kakashi asked, not sure.

"Don't do that. Please." Iruka said, brows knitting in sadness. Kakashi stopped rubbing circles and settled for just holding Iruka instead.

Kakashi said nothing else and dozed off to sleep, seemingly content with having Iruka beside him. Hours ticked away and Iruka was drowning in his empty thoughts. Then something tickled his mind, a thought, some form of duty he had to do before he left. He checked Kakashi's face and slowly, as quietly as he could, despite his protesting bones and muscles, got out of bed. He pulled out a blank scroll from his drawer along with an inkbottle and brush. He padded to the dining table, sat down and began to write his will.

Once he was sure he had everything written down, he cast a simple spell on the scroll, that would only be opened once the chakra holding the seal fades, which will only occur upon his death. He set the scroll in one of the shelves of his living room, beside the forehead protector that he wore and decided to go back to lie down.

Pain suddenly gripped his middle, and the ability to breathe became a difficult task. He started to whimper, leaning against the wall. Before he knew it, he was coughing violently once more, his knees gone weak. Blood came trickling down from between the fingers clasped over his mouth to silence the hacking noises, forming a freakish puddle in front of him. He wondered briefly if he'd die from the loss of blood and the thought actually brought a smile of humor to his lips even while he coughed.

Not being able to stand it anymore, he dropped to one side, the blood trickling down from his lips and forming a new puddle. Soon, both puddle would join and form a bigger one. The idea of dying of blood loss was really funny to him at the moment that he smiled. He actually smiled and started to giggle slightly at the insanity of it all. Humor turned in to sorrow and soon he was crying silently once more, as he did for several nights. The tears never seemed to dry.

He cried for Naruto.

He cried for his students.

He cried for his life.

He cried for Kakashi, who was just sleeping in the next room, unaware of what was happening and still managed to have Iruka's love. Iruka wondered briefly if Kakashi ever felt anything for him other than a bedmate.

"I wish." He whispered. "I wish, just for one moment, that he'd look at me and maybe I'd see a love restrained." More tears trickled down to the floor, as he remained on his side, staring at the wall of his living room. "Like what I see in mine, when I look in the mirror." He whimpered and wrapped his arms around his middle, the burning feeling intensifying. All of a sudden, death seemed beautiful, an eternal sleep that he would never get tired of. Anything was better than the hell he was going through.

I want to die.

His mirror image, the red-eyed one, appeared and lay in front of him, on his side, mimicking his position.

"Don't you want to live?" 

"No."

"It's still not too late."

"I don't care."

"They're angry."

"Let them be."

"Kill him."

"No."

"Kill him."

"No."

"Kill him!" 

"No!"

"KILL HIM!" 

"NO!"

Iruka screamed back, loud and sharp, voice tearing and cracking, throat going raw and painful. The bedroom door slammed open and Kakashi stepped out, just in time to see Iruka hacking up again, blood dripping down his mouth as he struggled to breathe and control his tears.

Everything seems to have slowed down by several notches. Kakashi rushed to his side, helped him get to a better position so that he could breathe and wiped the blood off his face and mouth with his trembling palm. Mismatched eyes looked upon dark ones and fear was in them. Iruka didn't understand why he was seeing fear in Kakashi's eyes. Kakashi was never afraid. He was cool, controlled and always ready. Why was he afraid?

"Iruka…" He whispered, brushing back the locks of hair. He carried him to the bedroom, holding him with utmost care that Iruka was in a land of wonder. "Iruka." Kakashi said again, softly, almost quiet.

"I'm dying." Iruka said, hoping that his words would bring some form of relief from the mess of thoughts Kakashi must have. "I'm dying, Kakashi."

And then, he saw, for the first time, in Kakashi's eyes, a love restrained.

The pain his insides was going through was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

TBC

sniff


	11. Part 11

Greatest apologies for the lateness! Long story really. But I finally had this written down and I think I went a bit off track with the whole horror thingie. I tried, really, but after re-reading this, I think I may have ruined it. Dear me, so much for trying horror. Che!

Thank you to muse and beta-reader (Kagaya and V-chan)

Happy new year everyone!

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**JU-ON 11 **

Everything seemed to have stopped for a long time around Kakashi as he sat there on the bed, staring down at Iruka with wide eyes. It was like slowly pushing a kunai down on your finger. The pain would be nothing initially but as the force was increased, the pain gradually spreads, sending shivers down the spinal column and finally you submit to the urge to scream. If Kakashi was a lesser man, he would have yelled, demanded an explanation with the boiling temper that was rising in him at the moment, and maybe, just maybe he would have shook him _hard._ Words were stuck in his throat, and Iruka, obviously seeing the distress the Jounin was going through, turned his head away, slowly forcing himself to sit up until his back was facing Kakashi, the large scar that was pale and white before now bright and red.

"You're dying." Kakashi parroted, feeling strangely numb. Iruka nodded once in affirmative to his statement. "I don't understand."

Iruka wanted badly to close his eyes but sheer will power kept them open. "Neither do I."

"Then _how_ can you be dying?" Kakashi asked voice dangerously low. Iruka knew that voice, and that tone. It basically means that Kakashi was in no mood to be messed around with. It also means that he might get violent and is on the angry-level on his emotion scale. "_How_ can you be dying?" Iruka knew he had to answer before Kakashi grabbed him or shook him like he always did when he wanted answers.

"I don't know." Iruka whispered, wincing a bit as his sides hurt, a hand coming to stop right on top of the painful core and rubbing in hopes of soothing the pain. Iruka felt Kakashi shift on the bed and stand up. It was typical of Kakashi to leave him in such a state and Iruka knew it was because Kakashi didn't want anymore in their relationship other than just plain body-warmth. In fact, Iruka waited for the bedroom door to slam close, signaling Kakashi's departure. What he did _not_ expect was for Kakashi to come and kneel in front of him, his hands softly coming to rest on his thighs, mismatched eyes looking up at him. Iruka had briefly wondered earlier if the small sign that he saw in Kakashi's eyes might have been a mistake, that there was no love and that his fatigue and illness was finally giving him illusions. But looking down at Kakashi, who was giving him a lost look, almost desperate, Iruka somehow felt assured that perhaps Kakashi did think more of him other than just a bed mate.

_I'm dying._

"How?" Kakashi whispered, gently pressing his hand on Iruka's side, rubbing it. The wince Iruka gave in response to the touch somehow made Kakashi look all the more desperate for an explanation. "How? You teach, you do paper work, you don't go on missions. How can you be dying? I don't understand." Iruka stared at the sheets between his legs, no longer able to look at Kakashi's vulnerable expression. It was the first time to see the Jounin in such a state. A warm hand came to rest on Iruka's face, making the Chuunin look up to find Kakashi's face hovering in front of his, hand trembling slightly as it traced Iruka's temple, eyebrows, cheek bones and came to rest on his lips. "How? Tell me."

_I'm dying._

"I don't know." Iruka shook his head. "It's something inside me, like some sort of disease. Like acid melting my insides."

"Hokage." Kakashi said, voice low. "She can heal you."

"She can't." Iruka felt an ironic smile come to his dried and pale lips. He shook his head for more emphasis. "She can't."

"How can she not?" Kakashi hissed, eyes narrowing. "She is supposed to be a fucking genius in the medical field."

The desperation in Kakashi's voice was so visible that Iruka winced a bit. He slowly reached up with his hand to pull Kakashi's away from his lips and continued to look down at his thighs. "This is something even she can't heal."

Kakashi brought his hands under Iruka's chin and gently tilted his head up, so that mismatched eyes stared deeply in to tired brown ones. "Why?"

Iruka shook his head slightly. "I don't know."

"Why don't you know? It's your illness! It's your health! You _should_ know! Tell me why you're dying! Tell me how to –" Kakashi cupped Iruka's face in between his hands. "Tell me how to help you."

Iruka swallowed, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes and trickling down slowly, falling on to the tips of Kakashi's fingers. "You can't." Iruka pulled away from Kakashi, burying his face in his hands. "I'm so tired."

"Is that why you look so different? Is it your sickness that did this to you?" Kakashi asked, a frantic edge ringing in his questions.

Iruka knew what Kakashi was really asking. It was more _'Did I do this to you'_ instead of what he voiced out. "Yes." Iruka nodded. "It's better this way. I haven't slept in god knows how many days and I can't keep my eyes open."

"Then why don't you go to sleep?" Kakashi asked exasperatedly. "Why torture yourself?"

The question suddenly hit Iruka. Indeed, why torture himself when he can easily put an end to this madness? Why stay awake for long nights and be afraid of going to sleep because of what he might see?

"Funny." Iruka mumbled, staring at his hands. "I never thought of that."

"Of what?" Kakashi looked at his face. "Thought of what?"

_I'm dying._

"There is a curse." Iruka said, explaining his understanding of the whole twisted ordeal. "I am cursed. It works two ways." Kakashi cocked his eyebrow. "I had a deeply buried grudge towards Kyuubi for taking my parents away, and the same goes for those who died." This time, Kakashi frowned. "I – I think that something out there, some kind of force, is using me as the grudge bearer. Am I making sense?"

Kakashi shifted his weight and nodded. "A bit."

"I don't understand it myself." Iruka said, staring at his hands. "I carry the grudge of everyone, and the only way to free myself of it, is to kill –" Iruka couldn't continue, so he looked away.

"Naruto."

"Yes." Iruka nodded. "I – I think if I do succeed in eliminating the source of the grudge, I will get better." He looked up sadly at Naruto. "Naruto deserves better."

Kakashi was the one who looked away this time. "You'd die for him."

"No one else would." Iruka sighed tiredly and coughed, bringing his hands to mouth. "I want him to live and achieve what he aims for. This is the least I could do." Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but Iruka's next words stopped him. "I see faces. Dead people's faces. I don't recognize them, but I feel like I know them." Iruka brought his hands to his face, shoulders trembling. "They are angry at me. I want so badly to sleep, to close my eyes for a few minutes, but I'm afraid. Afraid of what I might see."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kakashi asked softly.

_I'm dying._

"I –" Iruka trembled, feeling cold. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi grabbed him by the shoulders and shook his hard. "Sorry? What's sorry going to do now? You're dying! Does that mean anything to you? Is it clicking in there? Answer me!"

"I cannot kill him! I won't! I refuse too! Me dying is a small price to pay for all the things he's been through! The last thing he needs is a couple of dead people wanting him dead! Bad enough the entire village hates him!" Iruka snapped back as bitterly as he can. "I don't care! I have nothing to loose. He will live, become a great Hokage and that is what matters."

"You." Kakashi swallowed, licking his lips. "What about you? Do you – "

Iruka looked at Kakashi tiredly, weakly, like he's about to collapse. "Would it matter now? For me to say that I love you?" Kakashi dropped his head, hands still gripping Iruka by the shoulders. Iruka smiled slightly. "Because no matter what you think, even this illness cannot make this particular feeling go. Don't feel bad. It's not your fault. It's just me."

"How can you say that?" Kakashi asked, the grip laxing on Iruka's shoulders, pale hands coming up to rest on Iruka's face. "What makes you think I feel bad that you love me?"

Iruka smiled. "Do you?"

Kakashi looked at him for a while. "No."

"Then I am wrong." Iruka smiled then rubbed at the painful spot on his chest. Kakashi placed one of his hands on top of Iruka's, gently rubbing at his chest. "Don't give me pity Kakashi. Just give me a bit of respect. That's all I ask for."

"You have my respect." Kakashi replied, gently pushing Iruka down on the bed and pulling the blanket over him. "You always have."

"I'm sorry." Iruka said.

"Iruka I –"

"I need to ask you something, Kakashi." Iruka said, temporarily silencing Kakashi. "Please be honest." Kakashi gave him a promising nod. "Am I a weak person?"

Kakashi didn't have to hesitate. "No." He gently kissed Iruka's temple. "You're not, believe me, you're not."

Iruka felt a wash of relief hearing it coming from Kakashi's lips. "That's nice."

_I'm dying_.

"How are you feeling?" Kakashi asked, after a long moment of silence.

"Like I'm burning from the inside." Iruka answered, not missing the slight flinch Kakashi's face made.

"You're in pain." Kakashi's brows knitted together.

"Yes." Iruka nodded. "It hurts."

Kakashi placed a hand on Iruka's chest, gently rubbing circles, trailing down to his waist and coming to rest on his hip. "You're still beautiful." Even when he's feeling like a bonfire was burning inside him, Iruka still blushed. Kakashi came down to press his lips on the corner of Iruka's lips and left butterfly kisses all over his jaw, neck and chest, before resting his head on Iruka's chest, listening to the tired and weak heartbeat. "Lying like this, I know you're still alive."

Iruka brought a hand up and gently ran it through Kakashi's hair. "I'm still breathing." Iruka chuckled.

"Yes." Kakashi closed his eyes. "That's what matters now. I want to wake up tomorrow and find you still breathing."

Iruka closed his eyes, this time, he didn't feel very afraid. He dared himself to sleep. "I can't make promises." Kakashi placed a hand right over Iruka's heart. "I will try."

"That's good enough." Kakashi whispered.

Iruka smiled and let out a shaky breath. "Good night."

_I'm dying._

Kakashi closed his eyes. "Good night."

XXX

Kakashi waited till Iruka's breathing pattern returned to a calm and stable state before standing up slowly and pulling on his clothes quickly. Not wasting another precious minute, he made a wild rush towards the hospital where he knew that Tsunade was doing her nightly rounds. He didn't have to look very far because he found her exiting one of the intensive care wards.

"Hokage-sama." He greeted, dipping his head in respect.

"Oh. Kakashi." Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Can we talk? _Now_." Kakashi said voice tight and edgy. He didn't give to shits if he was talking to the Hokage or not, because right now, he just saw her as a medic specialist.

Tsunade couldn't avoid twitching at the order-sounding phrase but decided to humor the copy-nin and see what he really wants. "This way." Tsunade led him to a small office, which she used temporarily when she was doing her rounds in the hospital. Closing the door behind her, she sat behind her table and crossed her arms across her chest. "What is it?"

"Iruka is ill." Kakashi said flatly. "I want you take care of him."

"Where is he?" Tsunade remembered the state and damaged tissues Iruka had in his body and was biting down the urge to punch Kakashi's face in. It all made sense. Why else would Kakashi come barging to her in the middle of the night? That and Iruka was declared missing in the hospital just roughly about an hour ago.

"At home. Asleep." Kakashi narrowed his visible eye. "Take care of him."

Tsunade really wanted to beat the crap out of the copy-nin. "Now that's something coming from you." She said tightly. "Do you even know that Iruka has been suffering from stress of were you just too busy getting what _you_ want to even notice?" Kakashi tensed at her words. "I know what's going on. His body told me everything even when he said nothing and hid it. Though why Iruka would even bother covering up for a fool like you is beyond me." Kakashi couldn't find words to reply to her. "I can't help him and he knows that."

"Why?" Kakashi demanded. "You're a genius! You should be able to!"

"I can't!" Tsunade hissed. "I can't, okay? I don't even know what is going on. I've run blood tests and x-rays and all kinds of scans. There is something in his blood that is causing excessive heat to gather around his organs, damaging the cell because of the increase of temperature. I can't pinpoint the origin, and believe me, I'm still trying to figure it out. I'm getting nowhere."

"So that's it? He's just going to die? Is there no medicine or some sort of jutsu you can use on him? Anything?" Kakashi was now _almost_ begging.

Tsunade looked away. "I'm sorry. I'm trying. I really am."

"It's not good enough!" Kakashi snapped. "He's dying! There has to be a way!"

"Maybe if you had been a wee bit considerate on his condition, maybe it would have helped things, don't you think?" Tsunade fired back. "How do you think I feel about this whole situation? I feel useless! A failure! You're not the only one feeling bad!"

Kakashi brought hands to his face. "There is nothing at all?"

"Nothing that I know of." Tsunade said quietly. "Be gentle with him." Kakashi looked at her. "I'll know when I see him next."

"Of course I will! What do you think of me?" Kakashi glared fiercely.

"Like I said, his body state told me tales." Tsunade stood up. "Be _gentle_. And that's a warning."

Tsunade left the office, with Kakashi leaning against the window sill, a hand covering half his face, guilt and sorrow surrounding his heart. Kakashi knew Tsunade walking away isn't because she didn't care. If he were in here place, he would have walked away too. Was it really that hopeless? Kakashi turned to look out the window, a nagging feeling urging him to hurry back to Iruka's apartment.

"Iruka." He tilted his head up towards the night sky. "You don't deserve this."

XXX

Iruka turned in his sleep, brows furrowing. He could feel hands on his shoulder, lightly tracing the bare curve of his elbow then slowly sliding down to caress his bare back. A low whine escaped Iruka throat as he shifted a bit to avoid the soft touches. For a while it didn't bother him, until a firm grip grabbed him from his shoulder, pinning him sharply on the bed, long nails digging in to his flesh. Iruka let out a pained cry, opening his eyes to find his red-eyed mirror image staring down at him, an ugly and angry sneer on his lips.

_"You think this is over? You think you can just walk away, sleep like nothing is wrong and not have to deal with me?"_ He sneered, fingers wrapping around Iruka's neck, slowly applying pressure.

"You can't kill me." Iruka said, grabbing the wrists of the hands on his neck. "Because if I die, the so do you!"

_"Oho? Really?"_

Iruka couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to turn and close his eyes only to find this monstrous entity looming above his face. He summoned whatever strength he had left and glared up at his mirror-image. "Yes! Really!" With all his knowledge of his ninja training, he grabbed the man above him and threw him off the bed. Without even thinking, Iruka got up from the bed and made a dash for the door but the sheets tangled around his ankles. Iruka let out a loud horrible curse and started to get rid of the sheets around his ankles just as his red-eyed mirror image got up from the floor on the other side of the bed and was about to grab him. Iruka freed his legs and sent his left heel up the Red-eyes' chest then once more around his chin.

_"Damnit!"_ Red eyes cried. _"Damn you, you shit!" _

Iruka scrambled to his feet and made a mad race for the door, shutting it behind him. He held the doorknob, and was quickly thinking of a jutsu to keep the door close when the door was wrenched open. Real or not, Red eyes still seem to have more strength than Iruka did and the fact that Iruka hasn't been getting enough rest and that his insides were already grilled, it was no surprise that Iruka would loose. But that did not mean Iruka no longer had a presence of mind. Before Red eyes could even do anything, Iruka slammed the palm of his hand towards the nose in front of him before high tailing out of the hall.

He didn't get far because hands clawed at his back, pushing him face down on the wooden floors, his nose smashing and bleeding in the process. Iruka let out a painful cry and began to struggle.

"Get off me!" Iruka bit out, trying to free his arms from the twisted grip

_"Like I'd let go of you, you twisted shit!"_ Red eyes hissed, twisting Iruka's arms more to the point that any more pressure would snap the bones.

"Off me!" Iruka yelled, releasing a blast of chakra and startling Red eyes enough for him to knock him off his back with a twisted leg grab and kicking him on the knees once, Iruka managed to scramble back a few feet.

_"You'll pay for that!"_ Red eyes yelled.

Iruka ran for the kitchen, knocking things on his way – lamp stand, small table, plant pot – to block Red eyes if just for a few seconds. Iruka threw kitchen drawers open, looking for one thing. Just one thing. He would have gone for his kunai or shuriken but those were in closet in the bedroom and he was not going back in to the bedroom.

_"I'm going to rip your throat out, you little fucker!"_ Red eyes screeched and grabbed Iruka by the hair, just as Iruka managed to circle his hand on the handle of a kitchen knife and quickly made a large cut on his palm. Red eyes gave out a loud ear shattering scream, letting go of his Iruka's hair and staggering back. _"What the – what are you doing?"_

Iruka was biting down his lips from the pain he was feeling from the cut on his hand. He leaned against one side of the kitchen wall, breathing fast. "You said that you're me and that I'm you." Red eyes looked at him with semi-dawned understanding. "So, if I do this –" Iruka made a deep cut running from his wrist all the way to his elbows, a whimper escaping his lips that he's trying to keep close out of sheer will power. Red eyes was already screeching in pain and letting out a string of curses. "You get hurt as well."

_"Fool!" _Red eyes howled. _"You pay with your own life!"_

Iruka stared at the knife in his hand and the blood dripping on the clean kitchen floor, forming a large pool. He was starting to feel dizzy from the blood loss and for a moment, he didn't really care. Iruka looked up to find Red Eyes along with other several angry faces – pale, misty with their mouth opens in a begging 'no' – staring back at him. "I pay it gladly." Iruka raised the knife and pointed the tip to his chest, right beside his heart.

_"No! Don't!" _

Iruka closed his eyes and everything before him flashed – his days as a genin, his classes, his students practicing, his colleagues, his parents, Naruto and finally, Kakashi – and he drove the tip of the blade deep in to is chest, the pain causing him to gasp and let out a painful grunt and whimper, as he sank to his knees and fell on his side. There was a loud yell and a deep sad howls of the dead before everything just faded in to silence.

"It's over." Iruka mumbled, the knife still in his chest, the colors around him slowly fading. The kitchen floor was getting too cold for him. With whatever strength he had left, Iruka pulled the knife out, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes and slowly pulled his way towards the kitchen door. His head spun too fast and everything was tilting to one side. There was a sort of pull at his insides and a sense of calmness he hasn't felt in a long time. Iruka welcomed it, not managing to get any farther from the door of the kitchen. His bloody hand that was gripping the kitchen doorframe turned lax and slowly slid down to the floor, as Iruka stared at the night sky through the window of his living room, the pool of red thickening around him. "It's over." He blinked tiredly, slowly, like it was too much effort. "Naruto." Iruka swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling the warm blood touch his cheeks. "Kakashi." He closed his eyes, no longer afraid of what might hurt him, because he was dying already. They won't come for him anymore. His mind wouldn't be able to handle it because it was already shutting down. "I'm sorry."

_I'm … _

_Dying … _

_I'm … _

_Sorry … _

TBC

Where the f""" is Kakashi when you need him? Oo


	12. Part 12 Final

No comment ...

Enjoy! (smile)

**JU-ON 12**

_He stared down at the little blonde boy sitting on the lone swing in the park, fearful blue eyes occasionally looking up at the Chuunin. Iruka smiled, crouching so that he was within eye level with the five year old. _

"_What's your name?" Iruka asked._

"_Naruto."_

"_It's getting too cold. Don't you have a jacket?" Iruka asked, concerned because the boy was dressed in summer pants and a short sleeved shirt when it was the beginning of winter._

"_I don't have a jacket." Naruto answered, looking shamefully at his black sandals._

_Iruka smiled and pulled off his own scarf, wrapping it around Naruto's neck. "Come. Let me get you one. What's your favorite color?"_

_Naruto stared up at him, then stared long at the plain light blue scarf around him. The five year old cuddled within the warmth and softness of the scarf. He then turned up grateful wide blue eyes at Iruka, like he's been touched by an angel. "Orange."_

_Iruka chuckled and held his hand out. "Come on then. I know a place that has orange jackets."_

_Naruto hopped off his swing and hesitantly took Iruka's hand. _

XXX

_Iruka tied the forehead protector around Naruto's forehead. "Congratulations! You passed."_

_Naruto stared up at the forehead protector, cheeks marred with soot before casting down his eyes, lips trembling. Iruka could see the happiness literally radiating in large aura waves off Naruto. In a blink of an eye, Naruto threw himself on Iruka, short arms going around the waist of the Chuunin. _

"_Iruka-sensei!" Came the happy cry of gratitude._

XXX

_Iruka patted Naruto's back as the boy wheezed and coughed. "Slow down, silly!" Iruka reprimanded._

_Naruto managed to catch his breath and downed a glass full of water. "But Iruka-sensei, the noodles don't taste good anymore when it's cold! That's the whole point of eating ramen. It should be hot!" _

_Iruka chuckled. "Just as long as you don't kill yourself by swallowing down the wrong pipe."_

"_Mou!" Naruto frowned, and blew at his bowl. "Iruka-sensei is not eating!"_

"_I am!" Iruka chided, before giving Naruto's head a noogie. "Want another bowl?"_

"_YES!" _

XXX

"_Happy birthday, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto held up a paper mache model of a dolphin jumping over what was supposed to be a wave. _

_Iruka took the model and stared at it, heart warming. "Oh, Naruto." Even though the model was slightly crooked and lopsided, Iruka just knew the amount of effort and time needed to even make a small model. This was about eight inches tall. _

"_I know it's a bit crooked. But – But I really tried to make it straight." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head._

_Iruka pulled Naruto with one arm, ruffled his hair affectionately gave him a hug. "It's perfect!" Iruka placed it in the middle of living room shelf, where all his precious things went. "Thank you so much, Naruto."_

"_Oh and I'm not done yet!" Naruto whistled and his clone popped in to the Chuunin's apartment via the window. "Umm – I remembered that years ago you said that you miss those – ummm – brownies your uh - umm – m-mom made. S-So I looked up some recipes and uh –" Naruto took the box from the clone, made it disappear and held the small box up to Iruka. "I made some for you."_

_Iruka stared at the box, dumbfounded. He took the box from Naruto and found perfect squares sitting snugly in the little foil wrapped box. "You made this?" Iruka took one, chewed and swallowed. _

"_Hinata gave me a hand." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I accidentally put too much sugar, but I –"_

"_I love it!" Iruka said, taking another. "My, my Naruto. You'll make a fine husband in the future!" _

"_Geh!" Naruto made a happy face. "Really?"_

_Iruka chuckled, offering some brownies to Naruto. "Really."_

XXX

"_Hold still." Iruka said, dabbing an alcohol swab on the cuts on Naruto's arm._

"_Yeow!" Naruto cringed._

"_Almost done. Just keep your eyes closed and think of ramen. Count one to fifty." Iruka said, while he took some things out of the medical kit beside him while Naruto counted aloud._

"_Thirty two, thirty three, thirty four –"_

"_Done!" Iruka gently patted Naruto's bandaged arm. "Now, let's go get that ramen I promised you."_

"_You're the best Iruka-sensei! It didn't even hurt!" _

_Iruka could only shake his head in amusement._

XXX

Dark.

Too dark.

Cold.

Too cold.

Iruka felt sadness fill him that it numbed the pain from his self inflicted wound. Every memory he had of Naruto kept flashing behind his closed eyelids. From the moments he spotted Naruto crying in one corner to all those times when the boy came home from a mission and told him tales of his adventures.

"N-Naruto…" He mumbled, coughing out a little blood that joined the cold puddle under him.

Iruka chuckled at the irony of his current situation. When he was young, he thought of a glorious and honorable death in battle or on a mission. But now, lying on his kitchen floor with a knife embedded deeply in to his chest, he wondered if he even looked honorable. People would think of suicide and associate it with insanity because in a shinobi world, such things were normal. They would see him weak, pathetic and a coward. But they didn't know anything. They would _never_ know anything. To the village, he was merely the sweet and caring Chuunin who molded excellent shinobi students. Nobody would hear or know of his inner sufferings, the dirty laundry he hid under his happy-teacher façade.

"Damn…" Iruka mumbled, breathing slowing down till they were very short and dragging ones. "I wish, that everything had been different." He whimpered, but no tears came this time. His words were merely laced with plain resignation. "I wish I could see Naruto. Kakashi." A sad smile came to his lips, as he heard his own heart begin to slow down. "One last time…"

Everything around Iruka began to glow white till there was nothing.

XXX

The office lights flickered and went off for a brief few seconds before coming on again. Kakashi blinked and stared at the white light above him, cocking an eyebrow. He frowned as the nagging feeling inside him grew. A heavy feeling suddenly dropped on Kakashi's shoulders like a two ton brick. Shaking his gut feeling that was starting to disturb him, Kakashi pushed the windows open and let himself out. He took the shortest route via the rooftop to Iruka's apartment.

As he got closer, Kakashi found dread filling him even more. The lights flickering felt like a bad omen.

"You're just over acting." Kakashi mumbled to himself, slightly annoyed at his feelings. He hopped down to a lower roof and rounded a corner, landing on Iruka's balcony. "He's asleep. What could possibly happen?"

Then Kakashi remembered.

Iruka did say something of seeing dead people's faces when he closed his eyes. Kakashi then began to panic inside, hands shaking as he slid the balcony door open. The living room lights were not on just like he left it. Kakashi counted one to ten slowly in his head, as he turned and closed the balcony door. It then registered to him that he can feel no presence, and that the kitchen lights of the house were the only ones left on. Kakashi froze on his spot.

No presence.

No charka.

_It can't be!_

Kakashi turned and looked around, reaching out for the corner wall and flicked the switch open, his eyes widening. The living room was a mess. Soil from the plant pot in the corners were knocked down, a broken stand lamp joined the mess along with little porcelain pieces of shattered house display. Kakashi's heart began to race, as he side-stepped from the fallen things on the ground and studied everything around him. From the way things fell and how they were scattered, he could tell that there had been a struggle. Kakashi sucked in a shaky breath, senses not functioning properly due to the overwhelmed feeling he was washed with. Then he froze.

Blood.

Kakashi smelled blood; the scent was thick and strong in the air. Kakashi berated himself for not noticing earlier. Where? Where was –

_There._

Kakashi looked at the direction of the kitchen, staring at the white light that radiated from the open door. Kakashi trailed his eyes down and spotted a hand lying limp just outside the doorway.

"Oh god." Kakashi pulled his forehead protector off and rushed for the kitchen. Both his eyes widened at the sight of Iruka's fallen and crimson tainted body. "Iruka? Iruka!" Kakashi knelt beside the Chuunin and stared at the knife on the man's chest. "Oh god, no."

Kakashi pulled his gloves off and felt for a pulse. Sweat of panic was forming on Kakashi's temple, as shaking fingers fondled around Iruka's neck to find a pulse, anything. Kakashi found a very slow one that it was barely even beating. He brushed away Iruka's hair and summoned a clone to fetch Tsunade _fast_. Emergency techniques surfaced to his mind that instant. Kakashi lifted Iruka off the ground and headed towards a clean spot in the living room. Gently, he laid Iruka's form on the wooden floors, and pressed his hand around the area the knife was embedded on. Slowly, he pulled the knife out before tossing it angrily away. In blind rage and panic, Kakashi ripped an entire sleeve off his arm and pressed it tightly against the wound, applying pressure.

"Iruka? Iruka, I know you can hear me. Goddamnit, open your eyes!"

_Please. Please. Please. Please. Please._

Kakashi ripped his other sleeve off and pressed it against the wound. Iruka looked so pale and felt so cold. Kakashi shut his eyes tightly, concentrating harder in channeling charka in to Iruka.

_Don't die! Don't die! Don't die! Don't die! _

_DON'T LEAVE ME!_

A light and cold touch on Kakashi's bloodied hand made him snap his eyes open and the Sharingan flare as he stared down to find Iruka's hand lightly over his. Kakashi turned to look at Iruka, who had his eyes open in a thin sliver – enough to get a vague image of the surroundings. There was a smile on the Chuunin's pale and bloody lips.

"You're alive! Stay with me, you hear?" Kakashi hissed, voice laced with panic. "Don't close your eyes! Remember how you kept them open for days?" Kakashi channeled more charka, harder and faster in to Iruka. "I want you to do the same for a few more minutes! The Hokage should be here any moment!"

"- Kashi –"

"Talk to me!" Kakashi urged. "Tell me your plans for tomorrow. I've got free time. I can help you with your mission report filings –"

"- T –Take – c-care –"

"I'll take care of everything. I swear to take care of you! I swear!" Kakashi vowed, feeling drained from the amount of charka he was channeling out.

"- of N-Naruto – h-he's – a-alone – d-don't –l-leave hi-him –"

"Naruto will be great! I'm going to double his training and help him achieve his goals! I promise! Keep talking! Help is going to be here any moment!"

_Don't die! Don't die! Goddamnit, keep breathing! Don't fucking leave me!_

"-Do-Don't t-tell Na-Naruto –"

"Keep talking. Keep talking. Keep breathing." Kakashi ordered, pressing the wound some more.

"-Ta-Take c-care o-of y-yours-s-self –"

"I want you to breathe!" Kakashi glared at the Chuunin, who continued to smile. "You hear me? Breathe!" Kakashi gritted the last word out. "Don't fucking leave!"

_Don't leave ME!_

"-I – l-love you –"

Kakashi shut his eyes and concentrated harder, letting out a strong blast of charka, the last of his reserve. Kakashi steeled himself and opened his eyes. He looked down at Iruka. The Chuunin had his head tilted to one side, lips still parted in a smile, eyes closed. Kakashi stopped breathing for a while. Before Kakashi could even speak out, the door burst open and Tsunade entered with four other medical nins with her. Tsunade made Kakashi step back, doing hand seals to stimulate the heart and close the gaping wound.

Kakashi stumbled back, staring dumbly as orders were shouted and healing jutsus were cast. But he knew, deep within his being, that is was useless, that Iruka didn't listen to him in the end. Couldn't hear him. Couldn't give himself to his request – order – like he did on countless nights.

Just this once.

This last final time.

Kakashi stared at the blood in his hands and felt remorse he hadn't felt for a long time hit him hard. Everything was going quiet. Tsunade was no longer giving orders. Kakashi looked up and found Tsunade looking at him, a quiet look of apology and extreme sadness and loss radiating on her face. Quietly, she turned away, while two medics left to bring a stretcher.

Kakashi can only stare as everything went about in silence, blood dripping down his hands to the ground that it sounded like explosions in his own ears. He was left alone as Iruka was taken away to the hospital covered in a white sheet.

Alone.

Again.

Kakashi brought the hands to his face, shut his eyes and breathed out slowly, tears mingling with Iruka's blood.

He didn't even get to tell Iruka that he loved him too …

XXX

Naruto stared down at the cenotaph, blue eyes tinted with a heavy layer of loss and sadness. Everything Iruka owned – family jutsu scrolls and techniques, money and possessions – were given to him. It's been a long time since Iruka died and Naruto still had trouble believing that his mentor, teacher, friend and possibly the closest to family he ever had, was gone.

"Sometimes, I feel like he's still around me." Naruto spoke up suddenly, just as Kakashi appeared behind him.

Kakashi gave a sad smile. "His presence will always be around us."

"I miss him." Naruto said, dipping his head.

Iruka died on a mission from a deadly wound – that was what Naruto knows and that is the _only_ thing Naruto will know. It says so in Iruka's will. Naruto didn't have to know that Iruka killed himself so that he can live. He didn't have to know of the suffering Iruka went through.

_Not just yet_, Kakashi thought.

"Come on. Let's get your water jutsus polished up." Kakashi said, and patted Naruto's head. Naruto merely nodded and turned away from the cenotaph, walking the other direction. Kakashi followed suit, turning briefly towards the cenotaph to give it a quiet good bye.

Iruka was standing there, smiling, dressed in his Chuunin uniform, hair pulled up in its usual fashion. He nodded at Kakashi, smile going wider and softer.

Kakashi blinked and the image was gone.

_Iruka, I love you too …_

Kakashi turned and continued to the training area, introducing a new concept of water based jutsu to Naruto.

_I just never got to tell you when I had many chances …_

_I wish things were different …_

FIN

Done! I sobbed, I cried, I mourned and god! That is one helluva' ending.

He died. No way around it. So let's all observe a moment silence to mourn his death.

…

…

…

Okay, that's enough. I'm done with this story and well, I'm kinda' happy about it too. It turned rather angsty and dramatic. Kakashi is human so he has the rights to feel the way he did. The thing is, he will only feel those things when he's on his own, when no one's looking. That's the way I see it.

Thank you to ALL my readers and to those who kept up with this story till the end. Your encouragement has kept me happy and trying my best the whole way. I can never be more grateful. I hope, that as much as I've enjoyed coming up with scenes for this fic, you too have enjoyed reading them.

Till next time, peeps!


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